I have a lot of dreams for his life, they all have to do with his death though. (Ham, bacon, pork chops, sweet and sour pork, ribs, bacon, oh wait, I’m getting carried away, about to short out my keyboard.)
I know I haven’t written for awhile, but I just wanted to let you know that my life is going pretty well. I’ve found a new really close friend who has her own big motorcycle. She took me out for my first tattoo last week. I love it, but won’t be able to show it to you: Kind of a private location, if you know what I mean. And the Doctor says her STDs are under control again. She introduced me to her good friend “Lamont” who never seems to come around except after midnight… but that’s okay because he has this wonderful powder stuff that keeps you awake.
PS: the first part of this letter was a lie. I just wanted to put into perspective that my grades this semester aren’t going to be all ’A’s. Happy Halloween!
BE THIS GUY almost 5 years ago
Mom is happy as long as you’re not bacon.
awgiedawgie Premium Member almost 5 years ago
You’re a pig. She may not have envisioned the couch, but she almost certainly expected you to become fat.
Bilan almost 5 years ago
Mom: My dream was for you to learn how to write without getting ink on your forehead.
feverjr Premium Member almost 5 years ago
I might frame that… and not send it
Cminuscomics&stories Premium Member almost 5 years ago
And, then, Pig reaches kill weight…
Breadboard almost 5 years ago
So Pig when did you retire ?
Yontrop almost 5 years ago
She had hoped he could learn to heard sheep.
jpayne4040 almost 5 years ago
There is no frame that can help that!
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member almost 5 years ago
“It’s all in how you frame it.” Isn’t that the LAPD motto?
Troglodyte almost 5 years ago
First give them the “good” news…
Reader almost 5 years ago
He’s trying to sell her a pig in a poke (frame it a as safe and happy).
asrialfeeple almost 5 years ago
Pig really porked out.
Jeff0811 almost 5 years ago
I have a lot of dreams for his life, they all have to do with his death though. (Ham, bacon, pork chops, sweet and sour pork, ribs, bacon, oh wait, I’m getting carried away, about to short out my keyboard.)
Fred almost 5 years ago
what a ham
The Brooklyn Accent Premium Member almost 5 years ago
Putting lipstick on a pig?
dukedoug almost 5 years ago
fat / flat on a couch … ??
Ellis97 almost 5 years ago
She should happy that you’re not served up at Famous Dave’s.
Zebrastripes almost 5 years ago
PIG feels Discombobulated most of the time! He needs to get his bits together!
Tentoes almost 5 years ago
Well, for a PIG, that might be a dream life. Especially if it avoids being eaten.
DCBakerEsq almost 5 years ago
My mother is so proud she’s beaming.
johndifool almost 5 years ago
I see the PBS gang is still using that leaky pen…
Herb L 1954 almost 5 years ago
Couch potato,with bacon.Mmmmm,bacon ;)
Cary Rodda Premium Member almost 5 years ago
I like the subtle tribute to Charlie Brown writing his pen pal in that whenever Pig writes something with a pen his face gets ink smudged.
Cameron1988 Premium Member almost 5 years ago
Just e-mail, or send her a text, Pig
zeexenon almost 5 years ago
Son, you’ll be ready soon for the final ride in a crowded truck trailer ride. No need to pack your bag. Learning Yiddish won’t help.
B UTTONS almost 5 years ago
Pig is right – the message is clear with unadulterated labeling:
S.P.A.M.
Bacon
Pork Belly
Concretionist almost 5 years ago
Dear Mom:
I know I haven’t written for awhile, but I just wanted to let you know that my life is going pretty well. I’ve found a new really close friend who has her own big motorcycle. She took me out for my first tattoo last week. I love it, but won’t be able to show it to you: Kind of a private location, if you know what I mean. And the Doctor says her STDs are under control again. She introduced me to her good friend “Lamont” who never seems to come around except after midnight… but that’s okay because he has this wonderful powder stuff that keeps you awake.
PS: the first part of this letter was a lie. I just wanted to put into perspective that my grades this semester aren’t going to be all ’A’s. Happy Halloween!
Sisyphos almost 5 years ago
Momma’s proud of her not-so-little porker, Pig.
Always respect your Momma!