Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 16, 2020

Best argument against getting a smart phone.

Not so bad as taking a pocket photo.

Pig must know nothing about selfies.

Was this a selfie schtick?

I was being led to my table in a restaurant that had a very clear large mirror, set so I seemed to see an older guy who was getting bald and fat walking toward me. Imagine my horror to realize who it really was.

That’d deter people from instagram and the like!

Great!

i went to my 50th high school reunion, expecting to see my old classmates, but all I saw was a lot of old people.

reality…..

Those of us that shave the beard every day see that same mug shot in the mirror every day ! … Croc Power !

the question really should be, why was his camera on?

Stop me if you’ve heard this before: My daughter stayed with my parents for one semester of university. She relates that some mornings she would hear her grandmother scream. Running to the bathroom, she would hear, “Sorry dear, I looked in the mirror and frightened myself.” True story.

“I do NOT look like that!”

This seriously happens. Or you accidentally open facetime, and then scramble to quit it before the window populates…

Not everyone can be as good looking as me

I keep a hairbrush in my truck. Apparently some old dude keeps breaking in and using it.

How else would all that gray hair keep getting in there?

Sad truth.

Somehow I don’t think Count Dracula has this problem.

It blinds me sometimes.

This is why I don’t FaceTime with people.

The biggest problem when this happens, is that it catches you without your “public” face on – you know, the face you turn on when you’re actually prepared for people to be looking at you? – instead you get the “relaxed” face with all its sagginess…

“Who do you see in this mirror?” “Me.” “Oh, thank goodness! I thought it was me!”

We could skip the first two panels without loss.

And that’s why I don’t wear my glasses around mirrors.

This is precisely why I avoid selfies.

They have transmissions?

There’s this fat, old lady in my bathroom, and she won’t leave, even though I keep threatening to call the police.

Some telling moment of self discovery pop up recently… Stephan?

Yup, happened to me once…scared the camera so bad that it stopped working!

Don’t do “selfies” with a smart phone: don’t even have a cell phone! But I do have a mirror. And, yes, it’s scary!

I was going to file a report on a stalker, because every time I went to the rest room, some old guy was looking at me from the mirror, and it hit me…. oh, yeah..

I find it best, for the sake of my heart and blood-pressure (and self esteem), to avoid mirrors.

I’m guessing that Stephen had writer’s block until he accidentally took a picture of his face.

Ha ha ha ha ha….