Close to Home by John McPherson for February 28, 2020

Don’t give them any ideas.

The heck with that, use a barf bag.

Delta Airlines?

“Urinetown, the flight”

Did you ever think you’d see $25 to check each bag?

Piss on you.

I’ll just go here in the aisle, then, shall I?

Just use the outhouse, it’s free, and watch out for that first step…its a doozy!

That is fine, You know that those little vomit bags can easily hold the contents of ones bladder and bowels. and they are water tight and resealable… The fun bit is you have to figure out where I hid it after the flight.

How much to use your shoes.

Don’t laugh too hard – Ryanair already tried it.

The only thing I have to say is “Wet vac”

I’d just ask for an empty cup

Uh oh. Please don’t let Southwest Airlines see this. For the love of God. Nooooo

“Welcome aboard Spirit Airlines!”

On British Air does one spend a penny?

Welcome to RyanAir.

“Yes ma’am, then you should probably make a PA announcement advising everyone that we will be hurtling through the skies in a jet powered aluminum tube…THAT SMELLS LIKE PEE!!!” Sorry ma’am, I didn’t intend to yell, but my bladder insisted!”

Ryanair

She should hope her shoes are waterproof.

And…how much is the fine for punching out a flight attendant?

clean-up in center aisle!

RyanAir out of Ireland actually experimented with that idea. They also considered “standing seats” to cram more people on board.

Gonna cost more than that to clean the carpeting.

There’s now a sizable fee to have small children sit next to you, otherwise they’ll be in a remote part of the aircraft sitting next to a stranger. Allegiant announced If they’re not claimed within 10 minutes of landing they’ll be sent to a DHS detention center and the airline is not responsible for the cost of the flight to retrieve them, but they will facilitate the ticketing process.

I guess she doesn’t have to clean up the messes.

well, then pee on the carpet, then.

Thank you for flying Ryan airlines 0ver 1% of our flights are on time.

I suppose he could respond by peeing in the corner.

Do you take MasterCard of VISA?

He’s definitely flying Spirit.

It’s only a matter of time.

I’m sure there’s a corner with some privacy.

In that case, give me a cup of water, hold the water.