Rubes by Leigh Rubin for March 15, 2020

Shades of Stephan Pastis!

Do you remember the teak dealer named Chan who kept losing his stock, and when something went missing, there were always small bare foot prints. Eventually, he caught the thief who turned out to be a bear. Confronting him, he said:

    Oh boy-foot bear with teaks of Chan…

This seems like something Pastis would have written. Although if he had, Rat would have shown up and hit the judge over the head with the gavel.

Gee your Honor, that’s quite a mouthful!!

he gets one phone call and if the operator is ernestine it’ll be one ringy dingy…

At least Pastis has the grace to look embarrassed

Groan :)

Just a friendly reminder that Pastis isn’t the only comic artist who does puns and wordplay on the regular: “Frank and Ernest”, “Off the Mark”, and “Argyle Sweater” come to mind. And, you know… “Rubes”…

This has a familiar ring.

Did she also steal the copper clappers?

what an eye roller LOL

Leigh and Stephan sittn’ in a tree, p u n n i n g.

You may be a judge but you’re no Colin Mochrie…

Our top story today, convicted hitman Jimmy two-shoes McClarty confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit this may be the first known case of a knick-knack paddywhack

certain ring to that thing

Pandamoanium

Stohhp that…it’s getting silleh… :D :D :D

Way to wing wing it.

Stephan Pastis wishes he had thought of this one.

The judge can sling – it that really a thing?

Ahahahahahahaha

A couple was sitting at a table in a cafe. Suddenly a panda that was eating at the table next to them, got up, shot the man, and walked out. The police arrived and told the woman there was nothing they could do. When the woman asked why a detective told her to look up Panda in the encyclopedia. She did so and read, “Panda – Eats shoots and leaves.”

Now that’s got some ring to it.

Where everyone is a snitch.