Looks Good on Paper by Dan Collins for May 28, 2020

I think his transmission has stripped a few gears.

OK, you’re slurring your “dr” consonant blend to the tr" blend. But only sometimes because you got “driver” right.

Can you touch the tip of your nose with your index finger?

Or walk this straight line, nine head-to-toe steps, then turn on one foot and come back the CDC same way? Ah ha, I see.

Yeah. I think we can skip the HG Nystagmus test…

That’s something you don’t see every day: a speechless reporter…

Does he have a licence for that?

Must be a Stanley Steamer Trunk

Wonder if he’s current with his liability insurance..

Kinda reminds me of a certain 73 year old toddler playing with a big truck in his driveway….

I’m disappointed. I was hoping the trunk driver would be steering elephants.

He should be wearing a MAGA hat.

Watch out for those trunk monkeys…

Better a trunk driver than a drunk driver!

how much does it pay?

Reminds me of the groaners my father would tell on long trips – like “the Coosh Maker”, which he said he first heard in WWII. Then there’s “Candy” (my favorite to tell), which I strung out for over an hour on a long trip home with my child, dropping the punch line as we pulled into the driveway.

I think he’s a reformed drunk driver. Safer this way.

Another elephant joke?