Looks Good on Paper by Dan Collins for June 30, 2020

All he says is some nonsense phrase, like “U-lu-ru”…

There are ways she could ask that are more fraught with peril for him, especially if she had referenced particular geological features.

Do these jeans make my butte look like…

—Square Butte?

—Bear Butte?

—Elephant Butte?

—Devils Tower?

—Double Mountains?

He definitely should not tell her it looks like Shinarump.

And he might even win points if he refers to other specific buttes. He might say, “No, dear, it looks like Enchanted Mesa to me.”

And, P.S., I learned during a visit to Devils Tower that it is indeed “Devils” and not “Devil’s” Tower.

She’s more like the Grand Tetons!!

“No, they don’t (there’s no need to).”

“I’m enjoying the view (of the landscape).”

Jump. Just. Jump.

Kim?

Not if you live in Texas.

How about “No more than usual”. . . Will that work I wonder?

He’s in a tough position. He likes big buttes, and he cannot lie…

“I like big buttes and I cannot lie”…

That’s a small butte, compared to the rest of them.

I wonder if those three hundred pound women wearing yoga pants ever ask that question?

As perilous questions go, that’s a butte.

That’s a beaut, eh?

“Honey, when you wear them, you’re absolutely butte-ifull.”

No, not the jeans.

I think it’s the genes, not the jeans.

’They are only as large as your butt, dear.

Zip your lip or you’ll be in a mesa trouble.