Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 24, 2020

Pig has trust issues.

This would be a good time for Rat to get back together with Farina.

I’ll take two.

I’ll take 3.

What happens when Rat runs out of air? I don’t see a HEPA filter.

A friend of mine is in charge of a farmers marked. She walks around wearing a mask and carrying a 2-meter stick which she uses to help mark “stand here” Xs on the pavement, and to demonstrate distance to the hard of understanding. I did suggest a lance, but she thought it would be…

overkill.

I’d hate to know what the 3.0 version of the “Germ-Away” is like.

The 2.1 version has been marketed as the “Swine-Away”…

Can you use a public restroom with one of those?

Luckily it’s only a manual mallet.

Those who like to live in a bubble can use it too.

I’ll take the 3.0 with the flamethrower. :D

Not one stranger has ever been rude to me over social distancing since it started. So what’s going on in Pastis’s world?

Is this another Jef Mallet joke?

Those who live in glass bubbles should not try to hammer others.

Rat that mallet looks a little top heavy ;-) … Croc Power !

What if two Germ-Away® 2.0 pods got too close to each other? Would they still have a crack at it?! :D

Where are the crocs, Pastis??

I’ll take one please, version 2.0. Where do I send the check?

new from Ronco……..

And if someone gets too near it plays “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by the Police.

I saw something on CNET that advertised a glass tube that fits over your head and shoulders. Last night when I picked my wife up from the airport, I saw a guy with the usual mask but also with a full face, clear plastic shield in front of his face. Oy.

I’d take 2.0, and it has nothing to do with Corona virus

So rat has the 2.0

Just watch. . .within 24 hours. . .or 24 minutes. . .or even 24 seconds, someone WILL make an offer for these things on some etsy or Instagram site. . .and you can choose from a thousand different logos or colors to match your fav outfits. . .What’s that old song, “I’m in with in crowd. . .”

Rat somehow your voice still manages to escape.

Somehow I think this idea lays an egg.

Rat, you’re a bleedin’ genius!!

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised, since everything is politicized these days. But the fact that wearing a face mask during a pandemic has become a hot button political statement leaves me wondering if there is any hope for ever bridging the widening chasm that divides us.

Good idea, Pig.

Make it with a multidirectional treadmill for active mobility and a hepa filter and you’re golden.

For a small additional fee, version 3.0 comes with an hour’s supply of air inside.

He’s social shopping distancing…

I… have wanted one of those for all my life…

The mallet is for hammering out your differences?

Would love to have that for work; but with manipulator arms so I can actually do work.

Now that’s entrepreneurship worthy of Lio, Rat. I’ll have a Germ-Away 2.0, please. Ain’t nobody gonna violate my private space!

Yo!

Remember the “ball turret” on the belly of WWII bombers ?

I’ll send this to my favorite teacher. A daughter who’s on the City’s Reentry Planning Team.

I want one!

Will be exceedingly easy to roll Rat over.

1.0 has the bat distancing device.

Stay with version 1.0, Pig. You would never be able to use the mallet and you know it.

I have a newer, cheaper version!!! For $3.99, I’ll give you a ziplock bag to put over your head! Same thing as Rats invention, only deadly!

I’ll take 2.

I’LL NEED THREE!!!!!!!!!