That book looks like the manual for my new smoker. Front cover is a small title and 8 large warnings. First page is 26 warnings. Then the assembly instructions start on page 2 with assorted warnings thrown in. Finally it ends with 10 more warnings. I started assembling it 2’ from the house, as directed in a warning on page 1, then I had to drag it out another 3’ because the last page said at least 5’ from the house.
“Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn’t work, 2) didn’t do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser’s own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: ’Learn, guys
oompa over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday, Scott!
Baslim the Beggar Premium Member over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday!
cdward over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday, Scott!
PleaseStay6PixelsAway over 4 years ago
Lucky Scott. I didn’t get off on my birthday. (I guess my girlfriend’s to blame for that.)
WoodstockJack over 4 years ago
Feliz cumpleanos, Scott.
And many happy reruns of the day.
P51Strega over 4 years ago
That book looks like the manual for my new smoker. Front cover is a small title and 8 large warnings. First page is 26 warnings. Then the assembly instructions start on page 2 with assorted warnings thrown in. Finally it ends with 10 more warnings. I started assembling it 2’ from the house, as directed in a warning on page 1, then I had to drag it out another 3’ because the last page said at least 5’ from the house.
RobinHood over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday Scott
DaveQuinn over 4 years ago
Have you ever seen a playground swing designed by structural engineers? A VERY scary item.
drmickeyg over 4 years ago
Happy birthday, Scott!
rshive over 4 years ago
And those are just the “Wherefores”. The "Why?s haven’t been touched.
Happy Tinkerbelle Premium Member over 4 years ago
Best gift you can give yourself. I do it every birthday. Happy birthday!
contralto2b over 4 years ago
I didn’t get my birthday off last year (reasons out of my control). First time in over 25 years that I couldn’t. But I plan to this year!!
funnyg1rl over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday Scott!!! Take the day, you’ve earned it! :)
donwestonmysteries over 4 years ago
Of course it will be available as a PDF no one will read.
RobinHood over 4 years ago
Crowley on Warranties and Manuals
“Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn’t work, 2) didn’t do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser’s own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: ’Learn, guys
Plods with ...™ over 4 years ago
Danged lawyers. Happy Birthday, Scott.
chuckydoodle over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday Scott
eromlig over 4 years ago
Happy birthday, Scott!
Lightpainter over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday Scott! Eat and drink fabulous things today.
wrenshaw over 4 years ago
Written product documentation. How 2008! :D
corpcasselbury over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday, Scott! May your special day be truly blessedf!
tinstar over 4 years ago
“If it’s not broken, keep ‘fixing’ it, until it is.”
chromosome Premium Member over 4 years ago
Happy Birthday, Scott… Live Long and Prosper!
weirdme Premium Member over 4 years ago
No problem with small print in this case!
Cameron1988 Premium Member over 4 years ago
Happy belated birthday, Scott!