Close to Home by John McPherson for August 13, 2020

Right across from condom corners and next to sheet creek waterworks……(no paddles allowed)

Please keep all little yellow aliens on a leash.

Is there a web site I can look through?

Reminds me of that classic SNL skit about the shop that only sold tape dispensers!!

I want to go to Socks ‘R’ Us.

You really want us to shop online don’t you?

Happy second anniversary to Bleeb! I’m surprised he hasn’t gone mad after 2 years of observing wacky humans.

One time I walked into this store that only sold lampshades.

From the notebook of Lazarus Long, “specialization is for insects.”

Is this the world that Wal-Mart destroyed?

Sounds like many of the stores in Ukraine, very specialized. I just noticed that in Odessa there is a big celebration for a recently opened Mega Store that has everything you could desire under one roof and in one store.

I’m opening a “Sock It To Me” store next door.

How long before the “R us” moniker becomes unintelligible to generation aleph null?

Given the ridiculous flamboyance of the other shop names, Socks ‘R’ Us seems a bit bland.

Right next to Bra Barn.

This store should sell singles to replace the ones eaten by your dryer. Those socks aren’t really eaten, they are turned to lint and you throw them out when you clean your lint trap.

She is definitely shopping in the Walmart mall.

Is it next to the Button Barn?

“Honey… where’s the spatula?”

And they say retail is dead…

SNL scotch tape store

If you see ‘Jockstrap Jubilee” you’ve gone too far!

“…oh, and further on down the mall, the Butt Floss Boutique changed its name back to the Panty Pavilion, and the Men’s Underwear Outlet changed to the Mighty Tighty-Whitey…thanks for shopping at Socks ‘R’ Us, and please don’t forget to shop at our sister store…Shoe ‘B’ You!”

Ah, but at least Socks R Us actually has socks to sell, as opposed to a certain Cheese shop…

“Do you have Hickies?”

For those with a foot fetish……

Shouldn’t that be “Socks backwards ‘R’ Us”?

Ah, put a sock in it.

Or you could go to your local Walmart……

or Monty Python’s cheese shop with no cheese.