Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for September 29, 2020

Mort is taxed on a “pay as you urn” basis.

The way I heard it, Uncle Joe could be a real ash at times.

(Here is my one square of confetti.)

SSA just informed me that I get some money for a relative’s funeral expense. The amount mostly covers the handling of the body under COVID contamination potential. Everything else of the expense of the deceased – ate up the Stimulus that was sent out.

Place cuss words here.

Ba dum tiss!

Urn is a great idea. Save room for Uncle Bennie’s ashes. Because, a Bennie saved, is a Benny Urned (Bwahahaha!).

uncle joe’s a happy guy – he’s finally gonna get his ashes hauled…

You will have overcooked the old bird.

Deep fry!

Do the characters read the balloons or does he explain the pun?

Boo-oo-oo-oo.

NO! That’s just wrong…

That joke was DOA

My daughter has to find a job at a funeral home, the University is helping, and it needs to process bodies, not just cremation. “She is in forensic science and needs to increase her body count,” that is what I say to my friends.

My will stipulates that I be stuffed, mounted, and put on public display.

Jeese pretty ugly pun.

When I’m gone, what they do with my body is someone else’s problem. I won’t be around to worry about it.

One of the reasons that I buy flowers for my lovely wife now, she’s around to enjoy them.

All those elaborate funeral bouquets are to impress the living … In the old days, they used flowers to cover the smell of the decaying corpse.

Cosmo ain’t no Henny Youngman, that’s for sure !

Did he die?

He also ashed for it.

:groan:

“That’s not herb tea — That’s Herb…”……………………Night Court

I either want to be cremated and flushed down the john (or mixed in with the cat box), or buried with a marker reading ‘Yeah, I’m dead. But at least I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.’