Close to Home by John McPherson for September 28, 2020

Don’t be so ungrateful lady. Did he or did he not get the job done.

Woke up under the wrong side of the bed.

No matter what you do, criticism, criticism!

If you’re going to fail, fail big.

Ooh not good for the lower back

It all started when he said, “Here hold my coffee.”

Archimedes is on the phone. Laughing like a jackass …

Well, Bleeb’s looking like “What the gorram hell just happened?”

Not surprised that it’s ‘queen’ sized…I wonder when she got rid of her ‘princess’ mattress? Probably when the pea gave out.

Anna vowed never to let too much time lapse between sexual encounters again. Beeb, as usual, had a ring side seat.

Flipping isn’t a challenge. It’s when you want to flip and rotate the thing that advanced planning becomes necessary.

Flipping doesn’t help. Only one side has the pillow top on my mattress. Rotating it just puts you in a different shaped rut.

Hmmm, I’m thinking that the joke might just be on her! I don’t know about you guys, but that’s EXACTLY where I take my second morning nap. シ

Bleeb has a look on his face like he’s thinking: hmmm, a full gainer off this curtain rod, off the picture frame, off the headboard, double-bounce off the mattress… nuthin’ but net!

We just got a new mattress and they delivered it in the morning ~~ and they don’t take away the old mattress now because of the virus thing. Us two old people took our old king-size mattress and box springs to the the garage. Was quite a feat that I do not want to do again! We almost were where this guy is.

I have a hard time flipping my TWIN memory foam mattress. Egads, I can’t imagine a QUEEN!

Weight wasn’t a consideration when I bought my last bed. I bought the most comfortable mattress I could find, which turned out to be 200 lbs if not more: a huge mistake. It was also way overpriced.

That’s nothing! Try flipping a king…in a travel trailer…

He lost all respect.

What’s with the sarcasm? I did it this way on purpose to show you that you have to be careful.

My wife thinks I’m a genius. Many times she has said, “Way to go, Einstein.”

Advantage of an air bed (or water bed) – no need to flip.

If you’re not in a confined space it’s not THAT hard to flip a mattress. The bigger problem is that some mattresses nowadays seem to be designed so you can’t flip them; all you can do is rotate them.

He should have asked Bleeb for help.

Been there . . . .

Heck! It looks like the mattress body slam him.

I sympathise. I tried to turn my mattress one day, and my hands slipped off and I fell and broke my back. I still don’t know why mattress makers don’t put handles on them any more. I probably should have sued the mattress company, but I was laid up for a while.

Meh. I do that every few months.

I rather like their long landscape painting above the head of their bed… I was on a kick of painting long narrow landscapes like that for a while…