Close to Home by John McPherson for October 21, 2020

Just be sure it isn’t wrap in foil or you’ll be in for a big surprise.

“Let’s see: Defrost…Beverage…Popcorn… here it is—Brew.”

I can see “MacBeth” being rewritten in interesting ways.

Yeah, but what about the flavour?

Ya gotta put a pinhole in the newt eyes or they’ll explode on ya…

Hmm but is it safe?

be careful, Newt!

You’ll put your eye out with that thing!

Better use a covered dish!

Eye of newt is an old folk name for a mustard seed.

Never under estimate the degree of tradition that “new fangled” can louse up.

Kind of like Americans today- don’t believe science but use all the gadgets that are created through science.

Another 2010 rerun, and we have to entertain ourselves. Besides, to earn some extra cash, McPherson and Bleeb are busy re-painting the curb numbers in front of my house.

So, some more from ol’ Grampa…

Ol’ Grampa and I were talking one morning, and I said: Hey, isn’t today you and Granmas anniversary? And he said: “Well Dobe, as a matter of fact, today will have been 50 years and I was just thinkin’ about the time before we were married, when her father held a shotgun on me and said he’d have me jailed for fifty years if I didn’t marry her!”

“I can’t help but think that tomorrow…… I would have been a free man!”

Dang that thing is big! I think you could microwave a side of beef in it!

Won’t the microwaves interact dangerously with the newtron radiation?

Did the witch from Hansel and Gretel get one too?

If they replace the cauldron with a microwave, what’s next, replacing brooms with vacuum cleaners.

“Double, double, toil and trouble;Fire burns, but microwaves bubble!”

Witches Be Loco!

What about the item “ditch delivered by a drab?”