Reality Check by Dave Whamond for March 28, 2021

But the worms at the landfill will love it.

You should have demanded a higher celery.

I avoid the inevitable and just don’t buy produce.

Been there, and done that.

We’ve gone in the other direction. No red meat anymore but only fish and hormone free and antibiotic free poultry. I am forty pounds lighter and the physical exam numbers are well within normal range as the changes have improved our health and how we feel.

We thought we would miss the old ways and it was an adjustment but it was like kicking a bad habit or addiction. Now we find the fast food ads repulsive. This is from someone who routinely would grill full racks of ribs and thick cuts of beef.

Smoothies and probiotics are a major part of the fight against EvilCorp Foods. The slips with the veggie bin still occur but we are getting better.

We have to remind ourselves that the objective is to stay in the game longer than our adversaries with a better quality of life. For one thing we can see that the Braindead Boomers are going to put a lot of stress on the health care system and on finding good assisted living facilities especially considering the scarcity of quality labor to support them. Demand will drive the costs up.

PRODUCE TIP: (This is a fact, I’m not kidding!) To keep celery crisp and fresh, wrap the bunch tightly in aluminum foil as soon as you get it home. Place in your fridges crisper. Wrap tightly after each use. It will stay crisp for weeks!

Vegetable drawer. The black hole of good intentions.

What I don’t eat goes in the compost.

I’m sorry…this comic implies that there is another reality. I don’t think I have ever used up the 10 for $10 cucumbers I have bought. LOL

Wrap celery in FOIL for ever lasting celery stalks!

She had hoped to get into an Art Frahm painting, but forgot she was wearing slacks.

https://www.messynessychic.com/2016/04/01/the-mysterious-art-of-the-falling-panties

A fitting end for a head of celery.

I do the same thing as Joyce. I should go through the freezer some day and throw out the stuff I bought years ago.

So lemme get this straight. She could talk the talk but couldn’t wok the stalk?

No one needs that much celery.

Cut the bottom off and keep it upright in a jar of water in the fridge and it will last a long time. Same with broccoli.

I wish they sold celery by the pound instead of by the bunch, so I could buy the one rib at a time that I need.

I feel the pain!, be it for celery or any other vegetable that rots in the bottom of the fridge… which is why I’m buying a refrigerator with a bottom freezerrrrrrrrrr :D

Celery is kinda weird. Admit it.

Now I order pickup. Having someone else select your vegetables is the worst part. One supermarket doesn’t even have a way to specifiy substituting regular for organic produce, if not available. “Sorry – you get no tomatoes this week.”

’Cannot decide to call it Kunta Kinte or Simba.

That’s the way it works at my house. ‘cept I don’t buy potatoes or red peppers, only green peppers.

Buying only what you need is an elusive art …!

The celery stalks at midnight.