Herman by Jim Unger for February 19, 2021

The clamp is the one without the cord…

Put the lampshade over his mouth because he isn’t wearing a mask.

Suture self!

All was fine until he wandered into the wrong comic strip.

And next time, if you must, bring the Clamp ON, Clamp OFF!

I SAID CLAMP, IDIOT!! Well, make up your mind! Do you want the clamp or the idiot!!??

Let there be light…..

Thankfully, he didn’t ask for a forceps. No telling what he would’ve gotten then…

The nurse evidently needs a hearing aid.

A Guy goes into a proctologist’s office for his first exam.

The doctor told him to have a seat. In the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools he noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table.

A tube of K-Y jelly; A rubber glove; and A beer.

When the doctor finally came in the man said, “Look Doc, I’m a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?”

At that the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.

The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, “Dammit, Nurse! I said a BUTT LIGHT.”

If you do not listen to me, I will have to clamp down on you!

I went to a restaurant for lunch once. The waitress asked me if I wanted super-juice. I said sure, but what is it? She said it’s soup OR juice, which did I want?

And I want forceps , not four steps.

But he needs extra light to see

Don’t you hate it when you are on the operating table and the doctors and nurses have an arguement.

Hospital operating room staff had a standard joke, they used to send students down to central supply for fallopian tubes.

Get your ears checked!

Tramp? Stamp? Ramp?

A natural mistake…