Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for March 10, 2021

Is that a hat or his hair?

He should have gone with fish!

I knew he was going to choose that.

And now, it’s time for…

WoI: The biggest. Adventure. Ever. – Part 3a (written with perspective of Sarah, the fortuneteller, by the way)

It was yesterday, when Wizard, Rodney, and others started their journey. In meanwhile, the King came to me to find out the future. He asked: “Is our travelers’ trip gonna end well ?” I activated my crystal ball to see them. I said: “I see them fighting Huns, and none of opponents’ is staing alive”. " That’s great!" the King answered. But then, while he was coming out of my room, I heard him snickering: “Hee-hee-hee! What a bunch of pushovers…” That was pretty suspicious. I didn’t know, what to do, to find out more. But suddenly, I remembered something. My sister, Emma was the King’s old girlfriend. After breaking up, she moved in house of mine. When I came home, I asked her: “Remember, when you used to be the King’s girlfriend?” “Yup” Emma nodded. “So, he wanted to know the future, but I heard something confusing. Could you pretend you love him, and check out?‘’ “No way! I’m not going to do this!" “Do you want Wizard, Rodney, Blanche and Bung know the truth?” “Yeah.” “Then, could you please, pretend you want the King back?‘’ “Okay, but it’s gonna be only one time." Emma agreed.

Part 3b in replies

I would have thought Rodney would choose snowflakes at 20 paces!

And here I thought that Rodney would choose shooting rubber-bands at each other.

Slap fight!

He can’t get no satisfaction.

The guy demanding satisfaction has Wicked Witch of the East feet.

So it’s going to be a slap war, is it?

Were the Royal Guard we are not trained for “violance” like this.

Rodney that was a mistake, now he will slap you into submission.

Rod’s glove seems a bit gaunt.

Gauntlets at ten paces should be safe enough for Rodney.

Rodney: you’re gonna need a bigger glove!

Why choose that, Rodney? He’s already whupped you with it once…

I would have presumed that his choice would have been pillows at one pace……

Noses at thirty feet.

Dam dude. That glove is humongous! I like the idea though. Gauntlets at 2 paces.

Wet noodles at 20 paces.

A good visual would be using pie as a weapon. But then, Moe, Larry and Curly might join the battle.

brings out M61 Vulcan hey you get what you smack for

Except Sir Rodney’s has sand in it.

Sabres at ten paces.

I read about a very tall man who, when challenged by someone much shorter, chose sledgehammers in 6’ of water.

I would bet the majority would not know that “throwing down the gauntlet” was a battle glove rather than an obstacle. Kind of like “Katy-bar the door!” vs “Katie, bar the door!” LOL