Close to Home by John McPherson for March 15, 2021

By the time that you do all that, the bank will be closed.

Try ABC 123

That bank is really trying to hang onto your money!

Plus a snapshot of Bigfoot taken on a Sunday.

And prove you’re not a robot.

I was going to say, two secret questions and a captcha…

On mine, I have to aim a stream of neutrinos at moving targets in the correct sequence.

Yes, the problem with those uber-complicated account passwords is that they not only keep snoops away, they keep you away! :/

“And a partridge in a pear tree.”

Too easy to guess: 0=kabisakwahasiramockingbirdyellowhammeromegasulfate

And with such specific requirements it would be totally hackable.

Find a different bank.

oh that’s easy….pass

No drop of blood this time?

the ironic thing is, I could use almost anything as my bank password – but the one for my coupon app – 16 digits, at least one capital, one number, one special character. I’m glad no-one can now hack my coupons…c’mon

To weak. Without 2 factor authentication and at least one Biological input you’re just a piggy bank waiting your turn to be hacked.

It also needs you to say your address in Xhosa.

I have so many passwords I keep them in a locked notebook! If I could just remember that combination….

I tried the uber-complicated password Google suggested once (because they said I could access it on all Google services), but next time I tried to use it, I couldn’t get in… needed to change it again.

O2

Soon passwords will be the length of the first paragraph of a novel (I call dibs on “War and Peace”).

That’s another part of culture that kids born these days will never know—passwords of less than twelve characters.

Bleep going too the wash

And change it every 30 days.

At least you don’t need Egyptian hieroglyphics…

“I’ll take a ‘Q’ , another ‘Q’ , a third ‘Q’ and the symbol for Batman.” :)

OH…….!

How about the word from the opening of James Joyce’s Finegan’s Wake…”bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk!)“?

Bleeb should be able to help out here.

“Dang it! The Swahili and Greek was easy to learn, but it was hard to learn all those danged birds! Now, I’m gonna have to change it to:

A series of light frequencies,

Plus a mix of whale noises,

Plus the “SIMPLEST” answer to Occam’s razor,

And whatever those 11 secret herbs and spices are in KFC chicken!”

That day is coming!!! Password requirements are all so different you can’t use the same one over and over. That way you have to write it down and there goes the security!!!!!

And two days later, you get a report that there’s been a “data breach” and 65 of your passwords have been “compromised” and need to be changed. (This happened to me last month.)

Hope they are fairly adept at using wing-dings.

And that’s just to see the comic strips!

Next, we will need to include sounds in the passwords.

Those crazy passwords have now been generally acknowledged to have been a mistake, even by the man who invented them. A long password which is an easily remember phrase is now considered safer. Mine is “TheyAreNeverGoingToGuessThisOne”.

The password requirements for our classified terminal were almost as ridiculous. It had to include numbers and special characters, but you couldn’t repeat any thing or use a number and a special character that was the same key. For instance 4 and $. And they expired every 90 days. If you wrote it down to remember it, you had to store it in a classified safe.

I use a password generator for every site but GoComics (which is : hahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

Not quite yet but definitely moving in that direction…….

And that will rate only medially secure.

That sounds more like a google account just so you can adjust settings ….. my bank is not as bad as google.

or you can use “password”

The chemical suffix should be easy!