Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for May 10, 2021

No, it’s supposed to read “Four” arms.

Someone told him about something in advance, since “forewarned is fore armed.”

He once caught two fish this big….

Four, not fore.

Is she in for a surprise!

He has fourtitude.

Dang auto-correct.

Yes, but have you heard not only “Forewarned is fore-armed” but “Fore-armed is half of an octopus” (but not a spider as they would be four-legged". This was an idea I first thought of when I was about 10.

“I’m going out on a limb just by coming here, Doc.”

Dropping clipboard and running out screaming in 4,3,2,1.

Scheduled for the next Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

An old comic I used to have.

An alien crashed into a farm. The old farmer help by repairing the saucer, the wife bandaged and fed the alien. With the saucer repaired the alien cured a few sick animals on the farm, helping the farmer and he gave the wife a gift. The alien took off, the wife was screaming in the kitchen, the farmer runs in and she has four arms, she was always complaining about not having enough hands to do everything.

“Actually, it’s pane – ‘P-A-N-E’ and four – ‘F-O-U-R’."

“I have some pieces of of window glass embedded near the bones in all four of my arms. And not my forearms, but in my upper arms (It wasn’t funny, but it was humerus.)”

They call him fingers….

Was it a spell or spelling that gave him four….

Something’s been bugging him.

I just want to know where he found that shirt. And stay far away.

yes, it all draws back from my foreparents

This is so true… Doctors never seem to lift their heads from the computer screen anymore. They only look at the test results and send you to yet another specialist. Even on my yearly physical, I have to ask him to listen to my heart, otherwise I would have not even removed any clothing.

She refused him a second date because the last date he was too “handsie”

That could be handy.

“Sorry, I’m not an entomologist.”

So he was in the group that did not get the placebo?

Careful, he’s a bit touchy, feely.

Mixing human DNA with octopus strands brings trouble.

Four eyes meets four arms!

his bill for deodorant are through the roof!

Pain in forearms could be due to excessive foreplay.