Herman by Jim Unger for June 08, 2021

Oh, he will.

He’s already having a good time – he’s leaving you behind.

“All is better far from you, my dear!”

And you say you want to get married! See a super Swrink instead!

Do what she says. Don’t let her find out!

Yes Dear….

“Don’t let her find out. Don’t let her find out. Don’t …”

Don’t worry dear, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Shut the door and let his good times begin!

If he’s a -traveling salesmen,_ one of a long gone breed_, he’s already got his first not so cold call lined up. Finding satisfied customers and making his sales figures will take on a whole new meaning.

Heaven forbid

I had to go to Indiana one time, when The Celtics and Pacers were in the playoffs, and one of the games was in Indiana that week. My wife said, “I better not see you on TV!” (at the game).

“You can go, you’re just not allowed to enjoy yourself. That would be disloyal to ME!”

Oh, those dreaded business conferences and sales conventions!

“I’m so sorry that the boss is insisting I go. I just know I’ll be miserable the whole time … (snicker) … without you!”

My wife seldom had to say that – my business trips were usually to “vacation hotspots” like Nigeria or Baffin Island.

The fun begins when the door closes…..

Yes, Dear. It will be as if I never left.

“Hello? Escorts-R-Us? Yes, I’d like a curvy brunette dressed as a ferret, please.”

I’m sure he will have the same amount of fun as he has at home

But he can’t help but have a good time, seeing you in the rear-view mirror.

“And don’t let me find out“. Now there’s a big fat loophole!

I can’t decide which of her jowls is the cutest.