Close to Home by John McPherson for July 09, 2021

Time to start asking some personal questions and getting some answers and getting to the bottom of this.

And Time to whip Bert the imposters butt.

Maybe the real Burt has some identifiable birthmarks.

Fortunately, I have an identity with a credit score nobody wants to steal.

It’s the pod people!!!!!

Aw, Burt. Janet already knows that and has made her choice.

I miss Bleeb!

Janet knows.

Being identical twins makes this a whole lot easier.

“Sorry but he’s been ‘much better’ than you ever were.”

Confused? You won’t be.

Check the garage for Pods.

This HAS to be Burt here beside me, those are Burt’s pajamas!

She had wondered how he had grown so much.

“Yes, you’re you. And that’s why he’s now you.”

“I wanted you to not be so ‘you’. And that’s why he’s you now because he really can be you without being ‘you’.”

And now, Famous Quotes in History…

“Hey Bert!”

—Ernie

This has been Famous Quotes in History.

But…Janet loved the change!

Well burt if this imposter is paying the bills, taking care of the kids, and a “tiger” in the sheets with Janet, you’re crap out of luck buddy

Refer to the movie Face Off….scary!

Yeah, I know. Would you please leave now.

that’s my evil twin Bart……

That’s what an imposter would say

…..and how do we know that is the real Janet, now that we are on the subject of identity theft! It would explain how Janet doesn’t know who the real Burt is!

“I ran over to my friend’s house and said, ‘Joe! I got home and everything in my house has been replaced by an exact duplicate! I’m freakin’ out!’ He just looked at me and said, ‘Who are you?’”

—Steven Wright

Reminds me of Burt Campbell, from the old TV show Soap!, when they had the episodes with the 2 Burts (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8laJD6yZS8w)

Vera Miles had a similar experience back around 1960.

Who Goes There?

Janet:“Oh, I know.” ::raises and lowers eyebrows a la Groucho Marx::

Burts twin is a real hoot!