The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for September 10, 2021

That’s why I only eat Angus® beef hot dogs!! They’re the real thing!!

/SHMIRK/

Eating a Nathan’s hot dog would be like a eating a meal in heaven.

All of the talk about hot dogs made me crave one, so I had 2 Sonic hot dogs yesterday…. Those each took 35 DAYS off of my life. I have now done that 2 times.. all in one trip: My first time and my last time. Nasty things, those.

Contrary to this real report I heard that Betty White eats a hot dog and fries for lunch almost every day. It doesn’t seem to be hurting her any.

I know what I like and I like what I eat. I don’t eat what I don’t like and I don’t give a bleep about consequences.

Do low-fat Turkey hot dogs only take 35 seconds off your life?

Not me. I eat faster than that.

Marsha Warfield observed, “there’s no ladylike way to eat a hot dog.”

Really, how did the researchers arrive at that figure for eating one hot dog? Did they actually get volunteers in the laboratory who had a life expectancy of only one hour left, and they had some volunteers eat a hot dog and those that did died 25 minutes later, but those that didn’t have a hot dog died 60 minutes later?

I read that smoking one cigarette cost you five minutes of your life.

if that’s the case i want to subtract the half hour i spent with the guy who wanted to talk about his corns…

Uncle Ted!

It means you read way too much!

2 old guys in heaven living it up. Smoking, drinking, eating whatever they wanted. One says to the other "Ya know, if we didn’t listen to our doctors we could’ve been doing this 2 years ago.

Make mine a Braut with Kraut please.

Nice one Uncle. Laughter is good for the soul. Enjoy. I did and Brutus got a big smile going on… Brutus would say, live calmer live longer.

The vast majority of “Studies” can vary the outcome, all depending on who is paying for it. One day coffee will kill you,(paid for by a tea company) the next day it extends your life(paid for by a coffee company)

If that’s the case, it’s worth the lost time. Man cannot live by celery (metaphor for totally healthy food) alone. Please forgive my borrowing from scripture…..

This must be heaven

Tonight I crossed the line

You must be the hot dog vendor

I thought I might never find

And at last it’s the real meat

Or close enough to pretend

See that hot dog shine

- à la Barlow / Weir

How much is taken off for fresh baked coconut cream pie with coconut sprinkled on top? I could make a whole meal out of one of those!

Is not eating what you like living?

Tony Packo’s, Toledo Ohio…so I’ve heard. Wonder how they’re doing these days, M*A*S*H* is still re-running.

That 35 minute rule only effects people who have the deficient hot dog gene.

Or that you’d have 30 more years left if you hadn’t eaten all those hot dogs.

This was a great laugh today! Love Uncle Ted. Brutus needs cheerfulness in his life.

I like mine with mustard, onions and sauerkraut. It sounds like a study with a desired ending. Also, it sounds more like non sense.