A teenage boy has just passed his driving test and inquires of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father says he’d make a deal with his son. “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.”
The boy thinks about that for a moment, decides he’d settle for the offer, and they agree on it.
After about six weeks, his father says, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”
The boy says, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair … and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”
Dad replies, “Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?”
One Thanksgiving the adult son of a couple approaching 40 years of marriage got a call from his mother five states away. “Bill, after a lot of talk your father and I have decided to get a divorce. We just wanted you to know. Will you tell your sister for us?” Well, Bill gets on the phone to his sister and they agree that this would be the worst thing in the world. Soon thereafter, Mom gets phone calls from both Bill and his sister telling her and Dad not to do anything rash, and they will both be flying down there to try to talk them out of it. After they hang up, Mom turns to Dad and says: “Well, it worked. They’ll both be flying down here for Christmas (or Hanukkah, if you prefer) to visit.”
My niece had one of those mermaids tails when she was little, with colorful spandex or whatever she could pull up to her waist. She kept showing it to me, she’d just put it on and lie on the floor. I thought it was a costume. It’s embarrassing, but it took me forever to figure out that it was meant for swimming.
To help preserve biodiversity they should do is sequence the genomes of every living organism they can. I believe that before the end of this century it’ll be possible to artificially construct the DNA of even complex organisms (they’re already doing it with simple organisms), and so, at some point in the future, it should be possible to take that sequence, built an organism’s DNA, and then grow the organism from that. Since the sequence is just data — the blueprint, as it were — it should be a lot less problematic in terms of preservation and storage than sperm, eggs. seeds, and DNA samples.
The moon seems like a good storage place for organisms from Earth. After our society collapses the survivors cab easily go there and retrieve them to restore life on our ruined world. Only one minor problem… If our society collapses, or we lose space travel how do we recover the items stored on the moon?
I missed the part where they explained why this is a good or important thing that Eric ‘Badlands’ Booker consumed 2 liters of soda THAT quickly. Unless you’re in a life-or-death competition in which the winner is determined solely by the length and volume of belching, it’s a really stupid thing to do, medically.
Booker has had his 15 minutes of fame for 25 years he was the Hot Dog champ when they would do 12 dogs in 12 minutes. 20 years ago I bought a T-Shirt at my local Nathans to support the High School Band and he was autographing them
eromlig about 3 years ago
A teenage boy has just passed his driving test and inquires of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father says he’d make a deal with his son. “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.”
The boy thinks about that for a moment, decides he’d settle for the offer, and they agree on it.
After about six weeks, his father says, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”
The boy says, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair … and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”
Dad replies, “Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?”
Tossle Premium Member about 3 years ago
Why the exta vault on the moon, dont they trust the Doomsday seed vault at Svalbard Norway.
Templo S.U.D. about 3 years ago
Merle must’ve had sore legs after all those 29.93 kilometers.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 3 years ago
One Thanksgiving the adult son of a couple approaching 40 years of marriage got a call from his mother five states away. “Bill, after a lot of talk your father and I have decided to get a divorce. We just wanted you to know. Will you tell your sister for us?” Well, Bill gets on the phone to his sister and they agree that this would be the worst thing in the world. Soon thereafter, Mom gets phone calls from both Bill and his sister telling her and Dad not to do anything rash, and they will both be flying down there to try to talk them out of it. After they hang up, Mom turns to Dad and says: “Well, it worked. They’ll both be flying down here for Christmas (or Hanukkah, if you prefer) to visit.”
Boom. Happy Holidays (a little bit early).
Susan00100 about 3 years ago
…and after Booker finished that soda, there was the belch heard ’round the world!!
Caldonia about 3 years ago
My niece had one of those mermaids tails when she was little, with colorful spandex or whatever she could pull up to her waist. She kept showing it to me, she’d just put it on and lie on the floor. I thought it was a costume. It’s embarrassing, but it took me forever to figure out that it was meant for swimming.
Cminuscomics&stories Premium Member about 3 years ago
How long can Eric hold it?
bookworm0812 about 3 years ago
That must make for one HUUUUUUUUUUUGE belch!
scpandich about 3 years ago
To help preserve biodiversity they should do is sequence the genomes of every living organism they can. I believe that before the end of this century it’ll be possible to artificially construct the DNA of even complex organisms (they’re already doing it with simple organisms), and so, at some point in the future, it should be possible to take that sequence, built an organism’s DNA, and then grow the organism from that. Since the sequence is just data — the blueprint, as it were — it should be a lot less problematic in terms of preservation and storage than sperm, eggs. seeds, and DNA samples.
theincrediblebulk about 3 years ago
The moon seems like a good storage place for organisms from Earth. After our society collapses the survivors cab easily go there and retrieve them to restore life on our ruined world. Only one minor problem… If our society collapses, or we lose space travel how do we recover the items stored on the moon?
tremaine53 about 3 years ago
I missed the part where they explained why this is a good or important thing that Eric ‘Badlands’ Booker consumed 2 liters of soda THAT quickly. Unless you’re in a life-or-death competition in which the winner is determined solely by the length and volume of belching, it’s a really stupid thing to do, medically.
Nighthawks Premium Member about 3 years ago
this just in
Eric (Badlands) Booker , NY, Died today after drinking two liters of soda in18.75 seconds
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 3 years ago
That’s right, infect the moon.
Take care, may seer Nostril “Our Future Is In Your Mirror” Damusord be with you, and gesindheit.
dv1093 about 3 years ago
You can contact Eric at the ICU of his local hospital.
Totalloser Premium Member about 3 years ago
Booker has had his 15 minutes of fame for 25 years he was the Hot Dog champ when they would do 12 dogs in 12 minutes. 20 years ago I bought a T-Shirt at my local Nathans to support the High School Band and he was autographing them
mindjob about 3 years ago
Did somebody watch Merle the whole time to make sure she wasn’t using her arms? They could have been taped to her sides
stamps about 3 years ago
Eric Booker is able to burp continuously for 36.4 seconds.
comixbomix about 3 years ago
‘Vault on the moon’? Gee, right after about 4,000 sci-fi writers proposed something similar.
paranormal about 3 years ago
Why does Ripley’s post things that aren’t anything to be proud of… ???
WCraft Premium Member about 3 years ago
Be even more interesting if someone would give Mr. Booker some Mentos after he chugs a 2 liter of diet cola…
Bilan about 3 years ago
Going 2 mph with a monofin is actually slow. Those things can make you go very fast.
ekke about 3 years ago
And don’t even think of being anywhere near Eric “Badlands” Booker when he belches!
gozar about 3 years ago
Badlands Booker – see, I made a spoonerism by switching the first letters of both words. It’s just kinda hard to tell.
oakie817 about 3 years ago
badlands then pissed 2 liters in less than 10 seconds
goofy2cool about 3 years ago
I wonder if Eric also has the loudest recorded burp?