Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for October 27, 2021

SOMEone has to start it, right? And while Halloween candy is still displayed in store windows, and with me being always in tune with the season, I present tonight a Christmas fable:

Santa had been having a bad, bad day. He was way behind in toymaking; his elves were on strike, and two reindeer had hoof-in-mouth disease. Mrs. Claus had washed his best red suit in hot water, and it had shrunk. Even worse, he had just discovered his sleigh had a loose skid. As he bent over to examine it, he stubbed his toe and started hopping around on one foot in great pain.

Just then, a cheery little angel flew up with the tree. “Merry Christmas, Santa!” the angel beamed. “I brought you your Christmas tree. Where do you want me to put it?”

…and that, Gentle Readers, is how the tradition of the angel atop the tree was started.

They always swam to the far corner of the fishbowl (wait; bowls have corners?) when the theme to The Andy Griffith Show was played.

If Elvis only used a conditioner, his hair wouldn’t clump up like that!!

Imagine how much that wad of hair would have sold for if it was shaped like a football.

I saw Elvis twice. Once at the Astrodome in 1968, and the second about a week ago at my neighborhood McDonalds. Ok. I lied about the Astrodome.

But can the goldfish tell the difference between a Weird Al parody and the original? Enquiring minds want to know.

Using grapefruit as a size is no longer good as grapefruit I see are no bigger than naval oranges any more.

saw Elvis live in ‘75 …. he’s still the king…and the favorite among the goldfish

So you could hear the choppin’ of the Fritos and Cheetos, eh?

Take care, many famed fish story teller Sam “I’m Almost As Bad As The Internet” Liarord be with you, and gesundheit.

I’d be more impressed if goldfish could throw hailstones at Elvis

I saw Elvis at the Home Depot recently. He returned a sander.

So, how do they know that about goldfish?

While in the Army, I once got my hair cut at the same barber shop that Elvis did at Ft. Chaffee, Arkansas.

I was stationed at Ft Chaffee in 1961-62 during the Berlin Wall crisis!

A lady at work had a fish tank in her office. I walked in looking for her, and noticed the fish were just meandering around the tank. She walked in several seconds later, and the fish all swam toward her in the tank, and followed her as she walked from the doorway to her desk. After a few minutes, they settled down to meandering again. As I left and walked past the tank, the fish ignored me, continuing their contented meandering. A few other co-workers mentioned observing the same thing – the fish following their keeper.

I’m wondering if my foil hat would’ve been enough to repel hailstones that large?

The word “barber” has appeared once or twice already in today’s RBION comments, so here it is – appearing again.

A little girl goes with her dad to the barber and instead of sitting in the waiting area, she sits in the floor beside the barber chair where her daddy’s getting his hair cut.

She has a small purse, and while waiting she pulls out a small snack cake and unwraps it.

The barber says to her, “Little girl, you’re gonna get hair all over your Twinkie…”

“I know,” she says nonchalantly, “and Mommy says my bust is gonna grow too.”

How much was greasy hair tonic.

All these Elvis sightings—why never any Jim Morrison, John Lennon or Jimi Hendrix sightings?

Elvis is among the top 10 richest dead celebrities. He did not get that way by selling hair or other body parts.