Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 04, 2021

Yeah, that’s one guy you don’t want to make angry.

I’m glad that Pig’s not the kind of person to call someone a “grammar Nazi”; there are way too many of those jerks in the world.

Not being English my native language I’d need one Bubba.

What happens when the grammar snob meets Yoda?

Being “at” the Department of Corrections doesn’t mean being incarcerated, though it might. Imagining him inside my spell checker explains some things, though.

Neighbor Bubba was a guard for the worst grammar and spelling offenders – politicians and their PACs.

Bubba was let out of the Graybar Hotel but Pig didn’t tie any yellow ribbons!

I really don’t understand why people object to having grammar corrected. Don’t they want to get things right?

Ought-to-correct.

Somehow he managed to get out without any tatoos, misspelled or not.

I guess pig didn’t get the card that the police department sends when a convicted felon moves into your neighborhood.

Do they really correct much?

My brother is leaving prison next month after being in there for 34 years. He is really looking forward to his retirement from being a prison guard.

Some people need auto-correct. Where do they get their licenses?

You may jest, but many years ago Channel 6 in Philly ran a humorous news story about how the New Jersey Department of Corrections gets phone calls every day from people who need various types of errors corrected.

I luv grammer polise

The sentence should be “Where have you been……”. Also, there are lots of sentence fragments.

Wait until Neighbor Bubba teams up with the Comics Police guy…

He got that. (PGIC – Pig grammar in context)

There are way too many grammar nazis in the world.

“Bubba” has a host of implications. Perhaps a better name for this neighbor might be “Tucker”.

Maybe he was corrected.

I bet he was in for abuse of apostrophe’s. It drive’s me nut’s when folk’s do that!

I would be satisfied if the world correctly used “number” (for count nouns) and “amount” (for non-count nouns.)

The first thing Bubba should do is go correct most people who wear yoga pants in public, and fools who wear their pants hanging below their butts.

So the “lousy grammar snob” was serving a sentence…

Doesn’t spellcheck do that for you, Pig? Are you saying you don’t need spellcheck?

If he had been corrected, he’d be wearing a mask … a Nixon one would be great.

Apparently “departments of correction” regularly get communications from citizens who notice an error on their birth certificate or on their drivers license or whatever, and occasionally the citizen involved becomes quite shirty when their reasonable request doesn’t go anywhere.

Oh, to live in Pig’s world of ignorant bliss

So, Bubba goes to jail for criticizing grammar, but Pastis goes scot-free for his puns?

Some prisoners, earn their PHD’s while in prison. Some become jail house lawyers, once in while their cases are heard by the Supreme Court. Once in a great, great while their case is over turned. Yeah, there are some very hard working smart cons behind bars in Bubba’s fun house.

Years ago a new guy joined the company I worked at. Kind of a quiet guy at first. At breaks, a teammate would try to find out more about him. “Hey Dave, what did you do before you came here?” someone would ask. “North Carolina State Correctional Institute.” would be the stoic answer. Over and over again the same conversation would play out. Finally it was my turn:“Dave, where did come from before you joined us?”“North Carolina State Correctional Institute.”“Dave,” I finally asked, “Did you live there or did you work there?”After a moment of shock – he replied, “I worked there.” Then he looked at the entire group and asked, “Is that why everybody has been treating me so weird?” We all burst into laughter and told him, “Huh, yeah.”

Hey, Pig, you bigoted anti-grammarian! I am a certified member of the Grammar Police and I’m coming for you! You will do hard time, Bacon Boy….

I recently visited my Grandpa, and he told me that his dad was an English Grammar Professor at his High School. The way he described him was as a grammar snob, which is a trait he and my father both picked up. My dad goes bonkers whenever I end a sentence in a preposition.

He meant Government Domicile.