Herman by Jim Unger for December 18, 2021

“A lie.”

She looks like could go 350 all by herself.

Delusion at it’s finest

Nice try, lady. This made me LOL.

Our scale only goes to 300.

Publix is gonna get rid of its scales in new stores. Thank goodness. I was publicly shamed by you know it, a male of the human species, galloping up to say I can do better than that lady. Southern males believe they were put on this earth to tease women; not any women, mind you, just the ones who won’t take a fist to their faces.

The scales wants 2 pennies.

Your weight in kilos

Henry Youngman joke: you know you weigh too much when you get on the scale and the display says, “one at a time, please!”

Wishful thinking!

That’s nice – they share everything. “… and the two shall become one.”

When I was in the service, I had to maintain certain physical fitness and weight standards as did everyone else. My proposal to put the entire squadron on the truck scale and divide by the number of members was shot down by my commander.

Ummm divided in thirds maybe….lol

More like divided by 1.5 maybe.

A really good laugh this am. Needed that.

What’s 350 pounds divided by 2? According to my calculator, 250 & 100.

Her half’s 250.

One hell of a big white lie…

I’ve got a similar issue. The always weight me at the doctors office with all my clothes a nod coat and cellphone. You can’t believe how much my clothing weighs!

For the record, the answer is 175, and I’m pretty sure neither of them weighs less than that.

That’s how she divides the food bill also.

Imaginary numbers.