Tonight’s offering is simply an effort of laugh…which I hope someone will. Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone!
A woman takes her 16 year old daughter to the doctor for an examination. The doctor tells her, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Madam, but your daughter has a venereal disease.”“Oh, dear,” the woman intones. “Could she possibly have gotten it in a public restroom?”“Well, that is a possibility,” the doctor tells her. “But it would have been rather uncomfortable for her.”
Two cannibals are dining on a stewed optimistic. Suddenly, the husband starts coughing and drinking big gulps of water. “What’s wrong?” asks the wife. “I don’t know,” he says. “Seems like nothing gets this guy down!”
I forgot to say thanks to those who brought me laughter this last year. You’ve made every day a little better with humor, especially those days I feel pretty rough! And an extra thanks to those who have wished me well.
Not only does the Pacific Lingcod lose 20 of its teeth each day but its breath would peel paint off an out house. Not exactly the poster child for dental hygiene.
New Years Eve, and as Steve has mentioned, this is a time to be super cautious.
A Rabbi And A Priest Get Into A Huge Car Accident. After both of them crawl out of their cars, the Rabbi looks at the Priest and says:
“Look at that! Both of our cars are completely demolished, and yet here we are alive and well! This must be a sign from God that we should become good friends!”.
The Priest, looking at the total wreckage of both cars agrees.
The Priest then grabs something from his destroyed car and says: “And look at that, even though everything in my car is destroyed, this bottle of expensive wine is not broken. This is also a sign from God that we should open it now and drink together to celebrate our new friendship!”
The Rabbi agrees.
The Priest than hands the wine bottle to the Rabbi and he takes a few big chugs from it. He than hands it back to the Priest.
The Priest immediately puts the bottle cap on and hands it back to the Rabbi.
The Rabbi, confused, asks “Aren’t you going to drink some?”
The Priest then says “You know… I think I’ll wait for the police to arrive!”
Happy New Year, and if you must drive tonight, drive sober, and beware of everyone else on the road.
Thanks to all for all the jokes and for the fellowship of O.F.W.T.J.
I wonder how far offshore those Kiwi blokes drifted. If the floated past the international date line, they’d have to wait another 24 hours before they could celebrate.
Check out https://www.cameroncornerstore.com/ The locals say the place is not the middle of nowhere. It’s the centre of everywhere. Cheers and Happy New Year!
eromlig almost 3 years ago
Tonight’s offering is simply an effort of laugh…which I hope someone will. Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone!
A woman takes her 16 year old daughter to the doctor for an examination. The doctor tells her, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Madam, but your daughter has a venereal disease.”“Oh, dear,” the woman intones. “Could she possibly have gotten it in a public restroom?”“Well, that is a possibility,” the doctor tells her. “But it would have been rather uncomfortable for her.”
Copy-&-Paste almost 3 years ago
Wise Friends…Make that Bud-wiser friends.
Caldonia almost 3 years ago
Two cannibals are dining on a stewed optimistic. Suddenly, the husband starts coughing and drinking big gulps of water. “What’s wrong?” asks the wife. “I don’t know,” he says. “Seems like nothing gets this guy down!”
Caldonia almost 3 years ago
New Years Eve alcohol ban? Those guys are freaks.
Templo S.U.D. almost 3 years ago
Similar to the three Aussie time zones, isn’t island nation Kiribati in four time zones? If so, they got Jason Snake Lover kind of beat.
mbakerbr549 almost 3 years ago
Happy New Years to ALL here on Ripley’s. We may not all play well with others, but I wish you ALL a happy, healthy & PEACEFUL 2022.
mbakerbr549 almost 3 years ago
I forgot to say thanks to those who brought me laughter this last year. You’ve made every day a little better with humor, especially those days I feel pretty rough! And an extra thanks to those who have wished me well.
Count Olaf Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Not only does the Pacific Lingcod lose 20 of its teeth each day but its breath would peel paint off an out house. Not exactly the poster child for dental hygiene.
Count Olaf Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Ghislaine had a private island and it got her 65 to Life.
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 3 years ago
New Years Eve, and as Steve has mentioned, this is a time to be super cautious.
A Rabbi And A Priest Get Into A Huge Car Accident. After both of them crawl out of their cars, the Rabbi looks at the Priest and says:
“Look at that! Both of our cars are completely demolished, and yet here we are alive and well! This must be a sign from God that we should become good friends!”.
The Priest, looking at the total wreckage of both cars agrees.
The Priest then grabs something from his destroyed car and says: “And look at that, even though everything in my car is destroyed, this bottle of expensive wine is not broken. This is also a sign from God that we should open it now and drink together to celebrate our new friendship!”
The Rabbi agrees.
The Priest than hands the wine bottle to the Rabbi and he takes a few big chugs from it. He than hands it back to the Priest.
The Priest immediately puts the bottle cap on and hands it back to the Rabbi.
The Rabbi, confused, asks “Aren’t you going to drink some?”
The Priest then says “You know… I think I’ll wait for the police to arrive!”
Happy New Year, and if you must drive tonight, drive sober, and beware of everyone else on the road.
Thanks to all for all the jokes and for the fellowship of O.F.W.T.J.
Until next time.
Huckleberry Hiroshima almost 3 years ago
That’s a good idea. But I have far fewer teeth.
Take care, may famed cosmetic dental surgeon Dr. Philip “I Put Ma Kettle To Sleep And Bella Hadid Wakes Up” Plastord be with you, and gesundheit.
Nala the Great almost 3 years ago
I was trying to say something other than the usual “Have a Happy New Year”, but I couldn’t think of anything. So, “HAPPY NEW YEAR” to all!
J. R. M. almost 3 years ago
I wonder how far offshore those Kiwi blokes drifted. If the floated past the international date line, they’d have to wait another 24 hours before they could celebrate.
poppacapsmokeblower almost 3 years ago
The Pacific Lungfish broke the bank, and is why the Tooth fairy retired.
joeatwork212 almost 3 years ago
Funny about New Zealand. And I thought their being run by a crazy dictator was something new.
oakie817 almost 3 years ago
HIPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
Dan Tooker almost 3 years ago
Check out https://www.cameroncornerstore.com/ The locals say the place is not the middle of nowhere. It’s the centre of everywhere. Cheers and Happy New Year!
Stephen Gilberg almost 3 years ago
People will always find a way around prohibition.
tee929 almost 3 years ago
“Well tie me kangaroo down sport, tie me kangaroo down”……