That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 22, 2021

“Trip Advisor said this was 3-star hotel.”

“What are you complaining about? We do have indoor plumbing.”

The origin of the pose, “Blue Steel!”

His jailers had let him keep his bedsheets and belt, but Francisco wouldn’t take the hint. Finally they placed into his cell a step stool with an unraveling rope directly under the iron hook in the ceiling.

Well, he finally has time to think.

I said ‘Give me liberty, or give me death!’ and the jailer just laughed and shoved a bowl of gruel in through the slot.

This place will never compete

with the Trump Hotel down the street

the champagne is flat,

and (far worse than that)

this is the bridal suite..

2nd place prize for ‘Most Uncomfortable Pose For A Work Of Art’. 1st place going to Masaccio’s ’Crucifixion Of St. Peter’ and 3rd place going to Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’.

The dump still maintains the conceit

That it’s suitable for the elite…

But there’s not any heat

There are stains on the sheet

And with roaches the joint is replete.

There’s a palpable air of defeat..

Everybody who works here looks beat..

Last night, some bearded schlepper

Dragged in a dead leopard

Just to make the picture complete.

She said “Wait here. I have a surprise for you.” That was last Friday.

“How the devil can I walk with my left leg 8 inches longer than my right?”

I should’ve stood in bed.

miranda has a rough day in prison when the jailers take away his iphone charger…

“Paint me like one of your French prison girls.”

“Can we take a break? I really gotta pee.”

Being at that age, he pondered whether to take advantage of the morning “woody” or just go and pee.

“And the ‘chains’ part wasn’t what I was expecting, either.”

He’s always tastefully dressed

But the government deems him a pest

So they’ve made him their guest

(Though he’s somewhat depressed)

Nice commentary at https://blocdejavier.wordpress.com/2018/08/12/miranda-en-la-carraca-arturo-michelena-1896/ – it’s in Spanish but Google Translate does a good job with the text.

The Count of Monte Cristo’s less intrepid younger brother.

The longer Julian Assange stayed at the Ecuadoran Embassy, the stranger his behavior became.

Arturo shown here trying to raise the genie from his magic underpants.

“Meh. I’d have sworn she was into this sort of thing.”

/// He had traded his last tiny jewel

for the means to feel some small renewal.

He claimed holes he would darn

with his new worsted yarn,

but his punishment’s now truly crewel.

Lili, I am not getting undressed until you…Lili are there?

I’m calling my lawyer. Those coppers never read my rights when they arrested me.

And so he decided to just stay home for the holidays.

Ouch, that broken wicker strand hurt me badly!

Referring back to Steve Melcher’s caption:

/// Weiner understood after reflection,

that the word “cell” had caused misperception.

Apprehension now jars;

when he wrote he had bars,

she assumed they’d improve cell reception.

Miranda in La Carraca: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Miranda_en_la_Carraca_by_Arturo_Michelena.jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/12/masterpiece-2848.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 2 works, by this artist, have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2020/11/20?comments=visible 

has the prior (the here links in the blog comment were pointed to as artist info URLs in my comment there).

rapist john, enjoyed his daily visit from Richard for a little romp in the hay, it was his highlight of the day.

Miranda had not thought that the Spanish authorities would be so strict about cross-dressing.