The Velveeta is just the MacGuffin. (Or the MacGuffin with cheese, in this case.) It is not the hero. Obtaining and returning with the Velveeta is the story. Begin with the realization that only the Velveeta is required, for a salad, for a burger, for a grilled cheese, or for any other compelling purpose. Then the epic story, the quest, the adventure, can begin. Document every trial and obstacle along the way, from the uncooperative coat sleeve to the grocery cart that has bad bearings in one wheel and constantly attempts to dash you onto the rocks of the canned goods section. Oh . . . it can be Glorious! Feel free to borrow and steal from existing works, as seen here:
Orange on the homboy for feet up or two foots line w/lazy boy rocker 98 yard TD by Tackle Defense is a record…sense the Velveeta on the range w/grill of a Jeep In the living room on a TV Tackle Velveeta on The Ritze kids squid so cheesy and octopus and musels will sell game ball going on since last fall.
Epics are kinda out of style. I started on writing an epic poem years ago and managed to finish two or three legal-pad pages before I gave up. A Velveeta epic wouldn’t even qualify as faux cheesy! Have you considered limericks, Young Lady?
kingdiamond69 almost 3 years ago
Oh Velveeta how much i wanna eat ya your cheesiness has been pleasin us since we were kids!
Randy B Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Extraordinary feats! Adventures! Gambits of the gods! Pasteurized prepared cheese product!
(one of these things just doesn’t belong)
Superfrog almost 3 years ago
It is tough to write an epic cheese poem. It’s easier to kraft one.
tudza Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Long the journey, hard the trail
Hauling precious milk in pail
No cow so fine was ever born
Could yield the milk of the unicorn
Kaputnik almost 3 years ago
Perhaps you could write about the determined avoidance of (yuck) Velveeta.
Brass Orchid Premium Member almost 3 years ago
The Velveeta is just the MacGuffin. (Or the MacGuffin with cheese, in this case.) It is not the hero. Obtaining and returning with the Velveeta is the story. Begin with the realization that only the Velveeta is required, for a salad, for a burger, for a grilled cheese, or for any other compelling purpose. Then the epic story, the quest, the adventure, can begin. Document every trial and obstacle along the way, from the uncooperative coat sleeve to the grocery cart that has bad bearings in one wheel and constantly attempts to dash you onto the rocks of the canned goods section. Oh . . . it can be Glorious! Feel free to borrow and steal from existing works, as seen here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp3sJspakZM
*Hot Rod* almost 3 years ago
The gay tribe of marriage matters,
Lick the wedding cake batter.
For no lame cake egg beater, will
taste sweeter.
Than my favorite Baker ShopCrunch,
They serve any gender lunch,
Aaaas wedding night after Velveeta CHez topped Cavitella,
They do like constipation a whole bunch.
3hourtour Premium Member almost 3 years ago
…it’s hard to write about something that really isn’t that something…
……like Ethel was the best girlfriend I ever had…
…when in reality she was just a good friend with benefits…
…Velveeta is just a good friend with benefits…
…not cheese…
…but…
…I’m not saying that their is anything wrong with that…
…more like awesome!…
…there is still love involved…
…write about that…
…you may not be what other people call cheese..
…but I love you and you are very real to me…
…the whey you melt for me…
…the whey you taste…
…even when you sometimes drip down my chin…
…and after I’ve had my fill of your goodness…
…I know that later on I can still put you back in the microwave…
…and you’ll be hot for me again…
…simply delicious…
Rotifer FREE BEER & BATH MATS ON FEB. 31st Thalweg Premium Member almost 3 years ago
Re: The FLOG
.
https://tinyurl.com/TheFlog2-5-22
Zebrastripes almost 3 years ago
I once had a velveet-ta coat and muff to match! Scarf and Hat with co-ordinated colors….my hands we’re always warm in the muff
But back in the day, we just added beans to melted Velveeta, and dipped away with corn chips….
WARNING! Make sure there’s good ventilationPreferable on the deck out back
coltish1 almost 3 years ago
Somewhat resembling real cheese from Day 1!
coltish1 almost 3 years ago
If you wanted to write an epic poem about refried beans, then Velveeta could play a supporting role. That’s about as close you’re gonna get.
Plods with ...™ almost 3 years ago
Product…“Cheese Product”
Radish... almost 3 years ago
Is that government cheese?
Howard'sMyHero almost 3 years ago
Pffft … epic Velveeta poetry is a snap (ask Brass) … Try putting together a reasonable sonnet featuring clapping frogs …
WHOA MOMMA …!
gigagrouch almost 3 years ago
Yeah, how many lines can one versify about nachos?
willie_mctell almost 3 years ago
If you focus on the phrase “cheese food” with an ironic twist to the “food” part you’re more than halfway there.
6turtle9 almost 3 years ago
Oooooo, that goo
So viscous and warm
Life’s an orange dream
Embrace the lame form
charles9156 almost 3 years ago
you are correct!
*Hot Rod* almost 3 years ago
Orange on the homboy for feet up or two foots line w/lazy boy rocker 98 yard TD by Tackle Defense is a record…sense the Velveeta on the range w/grill of a Jeep In the living room on a TV Tackle Velveeta on The Ritze kids squid so cheesy and octopus and musels will sell game ball going on since last fall.
The Silver Circles
prettyfeet almost 3 years ago
First, sharpen your pencil. A dull pencil = a dull poem.
Ninette almost 3 years ago
“The Odycheese”
Milton, Velveeta! Milton!
Are go not? Dante say Cantos,
Ezra ate a Pound and Aeneid you at Homer.
InquireWithin almost 3 years ago
Don’t feel bad; most modern art is cheesy
*Hot Rod* almost 3 years ago
Jelly fruit spread in your favorite flavor..
Add the Velveeta and Rotel tomatoes.
Serve with tostada chips.
This is not hair jelly.
May grow hair on The Belly.
Sisyphos almost 3 years ago
Epics are kinda out of style. I started on writing an epic poem years ago and managed to finish two or three legal-pad pages before I gave up. A Velveeta epic wouldn’t even qualify as faux cheesy! Have you considered limericks, Young Lady?