Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for March 23, 2022

  1. Skipper
    3hourtour Premium Member over 2 years ago

    …and shirtless…

    …perhaps pantless…

    …only just now has Cupid realized that the other gods were playing a massive joke on him…

    …uncle Artica went there once to check on the Borg 9…

    …they found the lost WWII boat that held the last of the McHale’s Navy beans…

    …they were frozen, but still fresh…

    …they also found some frozen Girlscout chocolate caramel turtles…

    …they came with a card that stated…

    …Cupid is stupid…

    …that Ares…

    …so there were turtles after all…

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  2. Onion news1186.article
    Randy B Premium Member over 2 years ago

    You want to loose a hail of arrows at something? Pick the squiggles; the penguins have enough troubles, what with the recent polar heat waves.

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    Hugh B. Hayve  over 2 years ago

    If you are looking for someone to blame, I’d make St. Patrick a suspect. Dude had it in for reptiles. This is good however, because it means another drinking holiday.

     •  Reply
  4. Kyon facepalm
    davidob  over 2 years ago

    Not to worry. It’s a shell game.

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    Ninette  over 2 years ago

    Mr, Tur-tell is out by the well. Mr. Liz-ard is in the courtyard. Okay, tell them Mr. Rab-bit is here with the.. fertilizer!

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  6. Duck1275
    Brass Orchid Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Biologists at the Froglandia Bath Mat Factory immediately sprang into action, creating a genetically modified terrapin that is able to survive at extreme low temperatures by consuming the tiny bits of organic matter found in ice and snow. Dubbed “Project Hell Shell”, it was a complete success. Two hundred thousand Hell Shell turtles were released into the wilds of Antarctica in 1986, enough to sustain a viable breeding population. Due to their extraordinary ability to blend with the background, none have ever been seen again. But they are out there. While their thermal retention from internal bacterial colonies cannot be detected by currently available instrumentation designed for IR imaging, the bacterial processes occasionally result in a tiny poot, which CAN be detected.

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  7. Colt2
    coltish1  over 2 years ago

    In the face of this shocking finding, the Gap®, L.L. Bean®, Torrid®, and Banana Republic® pledged to provide 10,000 turtleneck sweaters and dickies to the scientists currently at work there. It was a laughable misconstruction of the issue.

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    *Hot Rod*  over 2 years ago

    Stick with butter not margins.

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    Zebrastripes  over 2 years ago

    The shell of turtles are so hard but an alligator/croc can crush it with no problem!

    Their progression is slow but lives long enough for generations.

    They love the warm climates and they are on every continent except .Antarctica…

    I never had turtle soup and never will….to destroy a beautiful creature is unthinkable!

    In .Florida, I visited the Rescued Sea turtles….giant turtles…..some had missing fins from boats, fishing line entwined, bites from other sea creatures! Then they release them back into the ocean when they’re healthy…some with prothesis fins!

    Amazing…Nature

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    Howard'sMyHero  over 2 years ago

    The trouble with Scribbles … complicated by scrambled thoughts of evolutionary trivia … time to have launch & take a knap walk ….

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    Plods with ...™  over 2 years ago

    And like Ireland…snakeless

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    Radish...   over 2 years ago

    Both of the planet’s poles experience extreme heat, and Antarctica breaks records

    Earth’s poles are undergoing simultaneous freakish extreme heat with parts of Antarctica more than 70 degrees (40 degrees Celsius) warmer than average and areas of the Arctic more than 50 degrees (30 degrees Celsius) warmer than average.

    Weather stations in Antarctica shattered records Friday as the region neared autumn. The two-mile high (3,234 meters) Concordia station was at 10 degrees (-12.2 degrees Celsius),which is about 70 degrees warmer than average, while the even higher Vostok station hit a shade above 0 degrees (-17.7 degrees Celsius), beating its all-time record by about 27 degrees (15 degrees Celsius), according to a tweet from extreme weather record tracker Maximiliano Herrera.

    The coastal Terra Nova Base was far above freezing at 44.6 degrees (7 degrees Celsius).

    It caught officials at the National Snow and Ice Data Center in Boulder, Colorado, by surprise because they were paying attention to the Arctic where it was 50 degrees warmer than average and areas around the North Pole were nearing or at the melting point, which is really unusual for mid-March, said center ice scientist Walt Meier.

    “They are opposite seasons. You don’t see the north and the south (poles) both melting at the same time,” Meier told The Associated Press Friday evening. “It’s definitely an unusual occurrence.”

    https://www.npr.org/2022/03/19/1087752486/antarctica-record-heat-arctic

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  13. Painpain
    painedsmile  over 2 years ago

    Let me get this straight: Antarctia-Antarctia is IsIs Turtleless. Those darn Isis terrorists have even set up in parts of A-A and wiped out all the turtles. Why isn’t the news reporting on this shocking development? It’s hard enough for a turtle to walk or swim to A-A, even harder to survive once there. We must act! Raise your bathmats as shields!

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  14. Painpain
    painedsmile  over 2 years ago

    We’re already missing you, Old Wolf!

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  15. Sea chapel
    6turtle9  over 2 years ago

    That’s just what the Germans would have you think.

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  16. Missing large
    InquireWithin  over 2 years ago

    I like turtles.

     •  Reply
  17. Froggy with cat ears
    willie_mctell  over 2 years ago

    But full of Lovecraftian goodness.

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  18. Thinker
    Sisyphos  over 2 years ago

    Well, if you had a half-frozen centaur firing his reflex bow, favorite of horse-archers, at your turtles, you’d soon be out of hot turtle soup and stuttering, too!

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    Radish...   over 2 years ago

    Antartica is covered with Turtle Wax, wax on, turtle off.

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  20. Bren suit
    FLIGHT SUIT  over 2 years ago

    No turtles in Antarctica?

    GAMERA WOULD LIKE A WORD WITH YOU.

    https://tinyurl.com/icyturtle

     •  Reply
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    !!ǝlɐ⅁ Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Is it turtleless or turtle-free!? Can’t have those little things stamping over all, as they’d just ruin everything.

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  22. Native hemp co 10 678x1024
    *Hot Rod*  over 2 years ago

    Turtle Shell Nut Cup.

    A favorite of catchers 22 nut cups everywhere.

    Stir the pot with turtle Shell Spork holder. Nice housewarming gift in the Antarctic.

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  23. Skipper
    3hourtour Premium Member over 2 years ago

    …the turtle beat the hare…

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  24. Native hemp co 10 678x1024
    *Hot Rod*  over 2 years ago

    My ding a ling across Turtle Creek…

    Those snappers all around my feet.,.

    My hands on my ding a ling.

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  25. Pine marten3
    martens  over 2 years ago

    Send Mitch McConnell down there to rectify the lack.

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    Howard'sMyHero  over 2 years ago

    Da Blog: Is it just me? There’s one popular motorcycle hand signal missing from the collection … but the last one at the bottom came close …!

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