Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for April 22, 2022

A limousine with a helipad? Wow… just watch out for low bridges.

Wow, I live about 11 miles from a famous Guinea Pig.

OK; One question. How does that 100 foot long car turn a corner?

Reads like a lift from the word guy, a service of a respected comics publisher.

How does one drive a one hundred foot long car anywhere? Turning on most streets would be impossible

So when is the Colfax Avenue marathon?

That “dream car” must be a nightmare to drive!

the American dream – has now become the American nightmare due to gasoline costs. js

Glenn Ford saved a hamster and taught it how to play Capt. Fisby in Teahouse of the August Moon perfectly!!!

Milwaukee Ave in Chicago is 28.13 miles long, and Wikipedia says Colfax is 49.5 miles long. What’s going on with the fact checking?

Youge Street in Toronto streches for 1178 miles from downtown Toronto to Rainy River. Some say it is only 58 KM til it becomes Hwy 11, but it always says Yonge street til it hits Rainy River.

that limo could not manouver any city because of all the stop lights.

Well yeah, if you count eating, drinking, running, walking, etc as “tricks.” My cat has 71, so there.

Take care, may famed Myanmar rat juggler Denpo “They Make Fun But They No Do” Hlaimnord be with you, and gesundheit.

A lawyer was late for an appointment at his office and decided to run a stop sign.

As luck would have it, a farmer was proceeding through on his tractor at that very moment, and there was a tremendous crash! Fortunately, no one was hurt.

The lawyer decided to go on the offense and jumped out of his car.

“You idiot!” he yelled. “Why weren’t you paying attention? Now I’m gonna be late for my appointment. You better believe you’re gonna regret this day!”

The farmer calmly surveyed the scene. “Look, young fella, you’re all worked up. Neither one of us is hurt — it’s just our rides that are a little banged up,” he said. Then he reached into his pocket, pulled out a hip flask and offered it to the lawyer. “Here, why don’t you take a slug of this whiskey. It’ll help you calm down.”

After a moment, the lawyer accepted and took a deep drink. A bit later, he tipped up the flask and took another swig. Then he returned it to the farmer, who closed the flask and put it away.

“Don’t you want any yourself?” asked the lawyer.

“Not just yet,” answered the farmer. “I’ll wait until after the police leave.”

how do you make turns in a 100 ft car?

That car is not my dream car, that would be a nightmare to drive and put gas into.

I can’t imagine how much it cost to fill The American Dream, especially with today’s gas prices.

Despite its reputation Colfax Avenue is NOT the longest commerciall street in the US. Western Avenue in Chicago is!

Really sucks for the guy buying gasoline for that thing now!

I don’t see any connection of all that with the Believe It or Not cartoon. Seems he/she is just aggrandizing themselves.

The following is in honor of Earth Day:

An environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years.

A member of the audience jumped to his feet and cried out in panic, “What? What did you say?!”

The environmentalist solemnly repeated, “I said that if we continue the way we are going at present, every man, woman, and child on earth will be gone in fifty years.”

The man sat down in relief and said, “Oh, thank God. I thought you said fifteen years.”

More may follow.

Here’s the missing link of Irish jokes:

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

“Top of the mornin’ toyer, sir” says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

“What are those?” asks the attendant.

“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.

“Well, what on God’s green earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman.

“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger.

" Jaysus", says the Irishman, “Mercedes thinks of everything!”

At least one more to come, on yet another topic.

This one’s for Easter:

Aliens visit Earth. They come in peace and surprisingly , they speak English.

Obviously, all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it’s the Pope’s turn, he asks: “Do you know about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?”

“You mean JC?”, responds the alien. “Yeah, we know him! He’s the greatest, isn’t he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok”.

Surprised, the pope follows up with: “He visits every year?! It’s been over two millennia and we’re still waiting for his SECOND coming!”

The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize. “Maybe he likes our chocolates better than yours?”

The pope retorts “Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?”

The alien says “Yeah, when he first visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys do?”

Not quite done.

Okay, this is the last one:

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn’t return to Earth.The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. “I want to give a million to my family”, he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”

The last applicant was a politician. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”

“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.

The politician replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer.”

Until next time.

Actually, Colfax is a lot longer. It is US Highway 40 and goes pretty much coast to coast!

Actually, Colfax is a lot longer. It is US Highway 40, and goes almost coast to coast

At 26.5 miles long, it (Colfax Avenue) is the longest commercial street in the United States, stretching through Aurora, Denver, Lakewood, and Golden, but if you count the rest of it after it stops being a commercial district, Colfax Ave clocks in at over 53 miles.

https://www.coloradoinfo.com/blog/colfax-avenue-story

You can be ruthless, and you can also have ruth.

How does that car turn a corner?

No mention of who the owner is——any bets it’s somebody too rich for their own good?

Or somebody who wanted to have a party but was too cheap to rent a hall.

Can the American Dream take corners?