Herman by Jim Unger for May 07, 2022

Call screening

I wouldn’t be calmly talking on the phone if that was tearing thru my screen door. I’d be grabbing a shooting iron.

If in black and white, it would be a still photo from any 1950s sci-fi movie.

There’s giant insects lookin’ for meals,

I wish I was wearin’ high heels

Look at all the happy creatures dancin’ on the lawn

Dinosaur big bug, watchin’ him and his pure smug

Doo, doo, doo, pokin’ thru my screen door…

And, by the way, do you sell life insurance policies?

Life in Florida, it is not the alligators that breed such terror as much as the pesky “no see ums” grown big by sucking up human blood in the gallons; vampires be envious they sure are.

Sorry, Bud. The warranty doesn’t cover that.

They mistook steroids for bug spray.

A member of the Dark Webb Society paid him a visit…

Time to move.

He might need something stronger, like a 75mm Howitzer.

“Them” comes to mind. It was made in 1954 and was about atomic testing causing the creation of giant ants. Scary as hell when I saw it at 9 years old.

Just curious – was the bug spray a green mist?

Yummy. Something that’s not running away from me……

The bug killed the bug killer.

Do your job or don’t promise to.

The label probably said “Killer Bug” and poor man read it backwards!