Dark Side of the Horse by Samson for June 19, 2022

“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” —Steven Wright

Color me funny, but I like instant coffee.

Wah.

I’m selling a new product that’s much easier to make.

Instant water. Just add water.

I haven’t had instant coffee for years, probably decades, and was thinking I’d never buy it again. But I’ve been painting in watercolors, and just read that freeze-dried coffee can be used to add texture in some cases. So maybe it does have some legitimate uses.

It’s a hard life, Horace…

What the “hack”? Before you “nag” till someone pulls the “plug” try it with coffee “pads”

The struggle is real for Horace.

Many years ago (60+, yeah, I’m old) I remember a fake ad in Mad Magazine:

“Instant Water. Just Add Hot Coffee!”

First World Struggles Side of the Horse

First panel: “Of course I want you. You’re adoorable.”

He is not picking, cleaning, roasting, grinding the beans, or cleaning the basket. He is also not disposing of the grounds.

Ew ew ew! Instant anything is gross

I didn’t get the second panel at First.

I put a measuring cup and a coffee cup full of water in the microwave. In about the time it takes to heat the water to 175 degrees, I have assembled my Aeropress Espresso Maker and added freshly ground coffee (a variably portioned mixture of caffeinated and decaffeinated). I dump out the water from the pre-heated coffee cup and pour in the very hot water. A minute later, I have pressedthe water and air through the coffee and filter – voila! – espresso. Who needs instant?

(Not associated with Aeropress, Espresso, or Maker.)

OK. Sometimes you need instant. When I was at a military academy, I woke up fifteen minutes before reveille, took down the jar of instant espresso from my unofficially sanctioned hiding place in the cabinet, mixed it with hot tap water and enjoyed ten minutes of solitude and quiet before all hell broke loose for another day.

Marketing it as ‘Instant’ was inaccurate but ‘Quicker And Easier Than Brewed’ would not have been as effective in the ads.

C1 – Apparently the stickman does not want to be a doorman!… C2 – Adam, how about an apple?…. C3 – Horace will soon learn that the coffee he made is decaf…!

Panel one – The little guy racing to the bathroom with his picture on the door. I find that flicking funny.