Ben by Daniel Shelton for May 31, 2022

just need to work in the fertilizer

My sister and my eldest daughter could grow cactus in a swamp. I have been blessed with the Thumb of Death. I’ve killed snake plants!

Mom to the rescue. As usual.

Just don’t rub your nose?

Find something else to be obsessive about. No, maybe that’s a bad idea.

I’ve learned to let the natural plants grow. They’re more resilient, low maintenance. The problem is, the property managers call them weeds.

Sent a picture of a flower to friends yesterday. They asked what type flower it was. I said Red? With a white stripe? I’m with Patty on this one.

I have black death heads on each thumb. When plants see me they unroot themselves with a wail of terror and despair and try to crawl away.

I have hands like Patty’s — I had an accident with a can of (brown) spray paint…

I have a brown thumb also. I used to joke that when people had weeds they would ask me to come and touch them to kill them. (It doesn’t really work – I have tried it on our weeds.)