Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for July 16, 2022

Bagels can’t be choosers.

SEEDS!

… And they don’t taste that well.

They’re crummy and crumby and they leave crummy crumbs.

It looks like Cookie Monster was here.

What be bagels? Them is some sorta doughnut shaped hamburgers?

If you really put everything on a bagel it will collapse in on itself.

Is the universe shaped like a donut, a bagel, or a torus?

What a mess!

Where’s the kitchen sink?

Based on the movie, Everything Everywhere all on One Bagel.

What a seedy place…

welp that sucks, don’t go in that shop or else.

Never a bagel fan. My wife loves them. But then she loves me, soooooooooo.

Not getting the ‘where every bagels’ line. That isn’t even a proper English construct. I see the seeds, but……

One of my pre-eating tests for whether a bagel place is a real bagel place is when I ask them if they have onion bagels. If they say, “we don’t have those, but we have everything bagels”, then I know they don’t have a clue. If they say “sorry, our onion bagels are so popular that they sold out”, then that might be okay. But I’ll take a plain bagel over an “everything”.

I don’t get it.

If an everything bagel has all the toppings, why isn’t a plain bagel called a ‘nothing’ bagel?

I have an ‘Everything bagel’ every morning, and add more ‘Everything’ topping to it. The minced onion and minced garlic make it great. My Lady called them “Everwhere Bagels” years ago, for good reason. One note of caution, particularly in the Spring and Summer. Make certain none of your everything is moving.