Last Kiss by John Lustig for July 29, 2022

“Close your eyes and pretend it’s braille.”

“Then close your eyes. We’ll do this by feel.”

That’s why I brought this blindfold, darlin’.

But it’s OK to imagine.. if you’re going to make a speech.

Once (only once ) Told my Wife She did her best work in the Dark , Did not see the Slap coming because of the dark !

So close your eyes…

I remember one of Garrison Keillor’s “reports” from Lake Wobegone:

A young happily married couple with small children are still amorously active. The wife expresses amazement with a certain small degree of irritation that her husband is always “ready.” He replies, reasonably, that whenever SHE’s “ready,” there will be TWO of them.

I have often felt people are more attractive in relation to what they’re wearing; if they’re naked, it does spoil things.

He couldn’t live up to her BIG dreams.

reaching for light switch…

Seeing him naked just might spoil the mood. She was planning to read a book.

Fortunately, there are ways to do everything we might want to do without being naked.

John, it’s like you’re in many people’s bedrooms ….

So was born ‘Naked and Afraid’.

Well, make up my mind, I’m on my lunch hour…

Dang it, J.L! I just tried to clip that one out for my Last Kiss scrap book! Time for yet another new laptop.

No it won’t. Size does matter!

GAL: ♪♫ OH HONEY! ♪♫ I’ve made a doctor’s appointment for next week.

GUY: Are you trying to tell me you’re pregnant? HOORAY!!!

GAL: No silly. I think the surgeon didn’t reduce my nose enough. I’m taking it AND the “girls” down another two sizes.

Sounds of man crying

If your gf/wife (either? both?) has one of her girlfriends pick out her look for a special evening, you’re probably going to be in for an… interesting… night.

Do not let that lead you into wondering about her girlfriend.

Especially not out loud.

On the other hand…

(because that’s probably all you’ll be using for the foreseeable future is the other hand).

“I do not look good naked any more.”

The story of my life :-)

“Just go home and I’ll play with my toys.”

well, he does look like a Ken doll

But how else will you be seduced by his blue smoldering eyes?

Yeah, I get that a lot…

turn out the lights…

I’m a straight woman, but I’ve always I’ve always thought that the female body is more attractive. It’s soft, with curves. Conversely, the male body does look kinda funny. The majority of it is great, but, then you get to the nether regions. It’s almost as though the below the belt parts were just attached as an afterthought. “Umm… We forgot to add the reproductive organs!” “Dang it! Just take this, and attach it in front, there. Nobody will notice!”

If I had a dollar for every time a woman said that to me…

You get naked and close your eyes, I’ll take it from there.