The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for August 27, 2022

Oh no

Shame on you, Brutus.

No actual cooking was involved in the making of that thoroughly disgusting mess, vertically cut or not.

I learn with my kids that you do what you have to so both haves are the same size.

“Starving people would be happy to have that.” – Mrs Parker

Good point today. I can’t understand the female’s obsession of cutting sandwiches into triangle shapes. Don’t you see that since most bread slices are longer than they are wide, it would be more practical and take a smaller effort to cut the bread straight across the middle.

Put a 3rd slice in the middle as a scab to hold it together and cut it again. Oh man, meals were always fun at my house raising kids. I’ll never forget the great ketchup fiasco of 1990. The large generic bottle of ketchup and the 6 y o couldn’t get it to come out. I helped by taking the bottle and holding it up over my head swung it down to get the ketchup to come out. It came out. The cap came off and there was a red strip on the refrigerator, the floor, the dog, the floor, the table, the 8 yo and me. You could have heard a pin drop, until I started laughing. We ate and cleaned up the ketchup after dinner. The dog got most of it before we finished eating.

I would have kept quiet and ate the sandwich, your stomach don’t know which way its been sliced !

Pointy sandwiches taste better than square sandwiches.

At least he got the glass of milk right.

Actually he cut it horizontally. It’s all in the placement.

Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich are just fine but add a sliced banana on it and you have a meal fit for king or queen or me.

So that is what make Mom a better cook?

Either cut the crust off, or toast it and call it Artisanal. And charge eight dollars for it. Plus a four dollar service charge.

But does it taste better?

When I became an adult, I started cutting my sandwiches horizontally as it seemed fancier than the diagonal cuts my mother used to make.

Cutting a sandwich is a bit of a nitpicky thing but I did something like that myself when I was 4 years old. My mother was gone for some reason and my Dad made me some toast and milk (we didn’t have a lot back then) and l complained that it wasn’t the way my mother made it and l didn’t want to eat it. I am not sure if my Dad was hurt or if he may have chuckled to himself. He tried to convince me it was the same but l still didn’t want to eat it. I wish that I could go back in time and eat it now. Thanks for bringing back that memory…

He’s old enough to make his own pb&j. He shouldn’t complain.

“Sheesh Dad! Don’t you know ANYTHING?!?!”

“how about next time i just leave it whole?”

I’ve never gotten into slicing sandwiches diagonally. My mother didn’t either. I guess the diagonal cut might be more ideal for children who have a narrow mouth compared to adults.

Pretty thoughtful of him to cut it at all.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just discovered I am Married to Brutus’s SISTER. That explains SO MANY THINGS!!!

Poor Brutus, he can’t even do the simplest things in life right.

Cutting a sandwich wrong is considered a war crime in many countries.

I can’t believe Wilberforce didn’t also say he wanted a jelly and peanut butter sandwich, not a Pb&j!

The unkindest cut of all.

My child used to change her requests (demands). She would be happy with diagonal cuts, then suddenly need vertical. Then that would be good, until quarters seemed better. I didn’t mind as long as I was advised of the changes before I cut the sandwiches.

I think this is the first time I have seen a positive comment on Gladys’ cooking?

any way you slice it, brutus can’t cut it…

Actually, I half expected that Wilburforce would have said horizontally and not diagonally…..

Shut up and eat kid. There are more important things going on. (Saturday 8:27 pm) The Browns are being mauled by Bears.

And I thought Calvin was fussy about how PB&J was made.

I popped off like that to my maternal grandmother. Right after that, I started making my own sandwich…"You don’t like it? You can make your own now." Appeals to my mother fell upon deaf ears…

All right. Don’t eat anything, because you aren’t going to get another one. From a family that slices vertically in half, not vertically. That’s for fancy restaurant club sandwiches.