Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for September 10, 2022

okay, I’ll bite: what is a tardigrade?

Some of us are more balanced than others.

WARNING: I’m repeating a joke I’ve told before. (Shock!) But it’s in honor of Her Majesty’s recent passing, and the only Royal joke I have. (It has the added advantage of being absolutely true, as well.)

One time, when President Ronald Reagan was visiting England, he found himself in a carriage alongside the Queen. As they waved and smiled at the adoring crowd, the horse lifted its tail and let loose with a loud, foul-smelling sound, forcing both President and Queen to smile through gritted teeth.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Mister President,” Elizabeth began.

“Well, that’s perfectly all right, Your Majesty,” Reagan replied. And then, with the perfect timing and comic genius that got him to The White House in the first place, he continued: “To tell you the truth, I thought it was the horse.”

If that’s true about big butts, then Kim Kardashian must be one of the most balances people on the planet and that is something I never thought I’d say.

Tardigrades can survive in space by entering a compacted hibernation state called a “tun state”. This also lets them resist heat, pressure and radiation. While in that state, they are one of those durable creatures on the planet, if not the most durable.

Apparently then, Kim Kardashian is the endpoint of human evolution!

Lots of cars in my neighborhood have infrasound systems.

Fourth in the “Brevity is the soul of wit” series…

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.

OMG!! Is Kim Kardashian the pinnacle of evolution?? :D

Grr! Stop portraying evolution as purposive. Humans did not evolve (in order) TO do anything. Evolution simply favoured a characteristic which made bipedalism easier and more efficient.

I’m not fat, it’s evolution!

What did the microzoology student get for being late to class?

A tardigrade!

I once killed 2 bears with nothing but my hands.

The tardigrades didn’t stand a chance.

(Tardigrades are often referred to as water bears.)

Enough for now.

Ok that must be why my keeps falling backwards, it matters not though as long as she can still bend over.

It’s simple… evolution is what creation looks like to us. A “day” for God could be a few million years for us. There is no conflict.

I wonder if recent presidential addresses have used infrasound…

Both how and why did tardigrades develop this ability? Was this actually tested in space or just a vacuum here on earth, because the sunward side of objects in space are not cold but heated while the shadowed side is cold, a rather uncomfortable, even deadly combination.

Does your uniquely large butt keep you from falling over or are you just sitting down?

So the Kardashians are the most eveolved humnas?

big butts….then what about big bellies without big butts…such foolishness…next you’ll be saying that our eyes were originally in the back of the head but to overcome dizziness while walking they moved to the front…

By the time Darwin wrote his theory he was very bias against religion and anything to do with God. For starters his father tried to force in to the clergy, he refused and took the naturalist position the HMS Beagle under the command of Captain Robert FitzRoy. FitzRoy was a Christian man who would not hear anything contrary to the word. Between his father and FitzRoy, Darwin’s narrow views would not allow him to even consider including God in his writings.

I conclude that Darwin’s work was not impartial and thus a flawed work.

My conclusion is based on the PBS mini series “The Voyage of Charles Darwin” (1978)

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seeing how we didnt evolve I serious doubt that ridiculous claim

Howdy all,

This one is dated a bit, but here goes.

Thibodeaux had a dream that his old pal Boudreaux had died and went to hell.

He saw Satan leading Boudreaux into a room with a table and chair.

Satan closes the door and turns a thermostat up to hot.

The later that day Satan looks in on Boudreaux and ask how he’s doing, Boudeaux says, “Man it feels just like a June day in Louisiana. Makes me a little home sick.”

So Satan he turns the thermostat up to scorching hot.

The next day he checks on Boudreaux and finds him with his shirt off and his feet propped on the table.

He ask him again how he’s doing?

Boudredeaux tells him, " Man, this feels like an August day in Louisiana. I sure miss home."

Will this messes with old Satan’s head, so he walks by the thermostat and turns it all the way down.

The next day he looks in on Boudreaux and sees him hunched over, a snot sickle hanging from his nose to his toes, lips blue, shivering uncontrollably.

He ask him now what you think, Boudreaux looks up at Satan and says," Man dim Saints must have won da Super Bowl".

(Told y’all it was dated)

Until next time.

To empty a brain, an army of demented superstitions devour the soft parts of rationality.

Better than the religious propaganda you try shoving down our throat

The tardigrade, or water bear,

Is found to live most anywhere

With water. It can even go

To 15,000 feet below

Or Himalayan Mountain peaks.

No wonder lots of science geeks

Have studied its survival skill:

It lives through what would surely kill

Most other life, like radiation.

What’s the secret? Dehydration

Turns it to a ball, or tun.

That’s close to death and thus no fun,

But once conditions get much more

Hospitable, it’s like before.

Biologists have resurrected

Tuns they knew (or else suspected)

Hadn’t moved in many years.

It looks as though our biggest fears

For mass extinction won’t erase

The tardigrade from anyplace.

Not believing. Kim Kardashian has a big tush butt she’s totally unbalanced!

Okay, I’m probably going to get flack for this, but, the evolutionary thing must be real, pertaining to the butts… case in point, a member of a particular “k” clan.

One of mainstream media’s most common tools is infrasound…

Guess that helps explain the Kardashians and those other freaks who choose to fill their bums and other body areas with about 3 tons of silicon.