Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for October 23, 2022

If you told your kids there was sap in their broccoli, would that help them eat it?

People only invent slang to confuse outsiders. I still don’t know the difference between “triggered” and “offended”.

gee… I wonder what the unicorns’ slang word is for their own kind

“We actually call you humans…. gullible” (smiles).

When I was a young child, I called broccoli “little trees”.

She wears shoes because they are so embarrassing.

Nice slang terms, horse-butt.

Just so long as you don’t call us “collect”.

Unicorn slang is more prolix.

…and either still sounds better than “hairless beach apes”.

(sigh) If I had a friend like Marigold Heavenly Nostrils, she could call me anything she wanted. Well, considering that she was a friend and wouldn’t be mean about it.

“…if yer not into that whole brevity thing”*

*regular quotes