One Big Happy by Rick Detorie for June 04, 2023

He has a cousin named Upson Downes

A name given by parents who meant well. Sergio Silveira Andrade III

My mother was going to name me after two of my aunts. Alice Delores or Nellie Wilma. Her other sister got to me first. My name is boring, but people don’t look at me with pity.

True fact: Lon Chaney Jr.‘s actual first name was Creighton. (But his agent convinced him he could get more work by taking his long-estranged father’s name…)

Quit complaining, it’s still better than Moon Unit and Dweezil.

Could have been Rollin Barrel.

It helps to be familiar with ‘Crate & Barrel’ which I wasn’t and had to google it to get the gag.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crate_%26_Barrel

You think those are strange, I found all of these in a sports column about 3 different local HS football players age 15-18. Jersey/Cooper/Broaderick/Yetxiel/Brothers Brennan and Braylin and my favorite Shaker. These are only a few of the really different names people have come up with

That was a nice long setup to get to that punchline. Well done!

Hopefully this kid doesn’t grow up to be a cracker…

And his middle name is “Cracker”.

Ba Dum Bish!

Aunt Lillian’s neighbors the Sands named their son Dustin.