Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 30, 2022

It’s easy if you try.

Charles Nelson Reilly’s cousin…

“No Surprise Soap” + Fertile Eggs —> very clean chicks!?

…the Great Salt Lake is drying up so fast it will soon be the great Salt flats…

…Joseph Smith was tarred & feathered but not in Utah…

…rather in Hiram, Ohio…

…Donny Osmond’s version of Imagine was considered too gentile to the Latter Day Saints…

…and too Latter Day Saints to the gentiles…

…Rick Nielsen played guitar…

…jamming good with weird and gilly…

…so please don’t Judas me…

…because nothing any good came from Nazareth…

Imagine “NO”. Peer through the NOT-ilus.

As the sense of smell slowly returned after the Omni-Crom [sic] variant, soap was the one thing to be smelled, and turning out to be quite unpleasant when it is the only thing to be detected, and in surprising places. But not the scents in the soaps, just the underlying caustic alkaline surfactants.

Shell we just get to it?

I spy… a marbled bar of organic, handmade soap….better than Fells Naptha…in the country store in Utah country.

Utah Country store, like Froglandia Bathmat Factory, has a huge selection of options in their Pharmacy for those who wish to raise a large family, 6 or more…stop by for a chat with the RX on duty…..

in Utah? – nope can’t imagine that! maybe one of the Dakotas

John Lennon took the word “imagine” and turned it into the third greatest song of all time per the Rolling Stone’s 2004 list of The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

She took the word “imagine” and somehow connected it to Utah.

I write this as I am, for the moment, in Cedar City, Utah. I imagine the state being relieved of its years-long drought, so that they can use their surprise soap.

Imagine Utah without the LDS. Impossible!

Don’t have to imagine a golden spike, brine shrimp,

or seagulls …!

( lots of latter day seagulls )

Surprise soap was designed to incentivize Iraqi children for better hygiene.

https://www.elrha.org/project/hidden-incentives/

Utahian children already know that cleanliness is next to Jo Smithyness, and likewise also do not waste their fertile eggs. They save them for a rainy day and imagine a time when Poly comes home to roost.

There’s golden plates in them thar’ hills!

Get stoned already.

As long as it’s in Utah I have no problem with imagining it.

Today’s model looks like the yearbook picture of the glee club conductor, after the seniors got finished doctoring it up. The conch was actually the art project of a youngster already hired at the Bath Mat Factory.

satire wins!

Slug Eye…. Threesa

I’ve never used Surprise Soap; my preferred brand is an import special (increasingly hard to find, alas). But if neither Surprise Soap nor fertile eggs (—of what species?) were to be found in Utah, I’d say that was a pretty grim scenario.

Why do you propose this imaginary case, Mr. Disguised Face?