Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for October 20, 2022

Wiz: I can be a shoo-in to win the Nobel prize if I can modify a tomato variety that the little Fink can’t duck.

Well let me bring out my trebuchet.

I am sure that the crowd will find a way to throw it.

Attack of the killer tomatoes……

Peasants: “Big tomatoes? … great, let’s build catapult for next king’s speech!”...Morning after king’s speech: king signs decree banning ownership of assault catapults by peasants. Also, peasants are not allowed to own more than one tomatoe at the time per adult person. And to own it, they must show to seller a buying permit and background check issued by royal police which confirms that peasant never threw tomatoes at king.

I believe that this strip is supposed to take place before Christoper Columbus. And tomatoes came to Europe from Mexico.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomato

Tomatomelon

I grew tomatoes when I lived in Texas. The soil was very fertile. They grew so big that it only took three to make a dozen!

You’ve got the tower, fink. Drop your own supply of veggies on their heads. It’s a lot easier to throw stuff 30 feet down than 30 feet up.

That variety of tomato would’ve come in handy this year. I and some of my friends were only getting salad tomatoes when we were supposed to be getting whoppers. I’m going to try tomatoes one more time in ‘23. If no luck, then that’s it for all those cages.

or an easier way to hit they’re target. :D

People will use the catapult more often now

I tried a variety of tomato this year I hadn’t heard of before. I was looking for Romas. Instead all I found was Super Sauce. They were like Romas on steroids! The label warned of tomatoes averaging 1 – 2 pounds each. Had I read that more carefully I wouldn’t have planted them. My largest two tomatoes would’ve come close to the two pounds but some critter got to bits of them. There were at least four more that surpassed the one pound size, many more came close. The fruit got smaller higher up on the vines. Still, it produced 38 before succumbing to the cold. Thankfully, I use cages made of rebar mesh so the cage was strong enough to support the fruit and stems/vines. BTW they made a tasty sauce too.

“OK, men, bring out the catapults!”

How big will cherry tomatoes be? Like normal size, ie throwable?

Wait a minute, isn’t throwing tomato one of the ways the king get his daily intake of vegetables yip yip yip yip yip

All they gotta do is chop it up. . .

Technology will evolve, Fink. The peasants will develop better throwing machines.

That’ll be a lot of marinara.

But he`s also going to make watermelons the size of tomatoes.

Next invent the tomato trebuchet.

That would make Gallagher’s shows even messier!

Not when the Punkin chunkers get a hold of it. They’ll be launching them from two kingdoms over.

I grew some watermelons about the size of a tomato once. (Didn’t think the plants.)

The first vegetable to ever “Cut and Paste” they’ll catch up in no time