FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for December 26, 2022

Roger, you spoil sport (on Andy’s efforts).

The most loved and reviled man in the house

Maybe he got a special deal on a new Amazon credit card that allowed him to buy the other 2 things.

I gave my nephew a new box of pencils for Christmas.

It’s a tradition. I’ve been doing it since he was 12. He’s 45 and has many pencils now, ladies.

My very rich Uncle, may he rest in peace, gave me a hand shake each Christmas.

I recall that there was a brief period (compared to my entire life) when I actually asked for specific things for Christmas.

When I was a very young child, my parents decided what gifts I would get. When I got a bit older I pretty much asked of the same toys my friends were getting (somehow TV ads didn’t have an influence on me even then).

Then I became the difficult to buy for person I am today: I’m not the man who has everything, I’m the man who wants nothing. This year I didn’t even ask for socks or underwear.

Spoke too soon, Andy…

Shades of Christmas Story.

One year our older daughter asked for a specific doll. We got it, but somehow forgot to pull it out Christmas morning. The girls opened their gifts & were happy. At one point, we asked our older daughter if she liked her Christmas. She smiled & said she loved it; that even though she didn’t get all she wanted, she was more than happy with what she got. It was at that point that we remembered the doll! We pulled it out & gave it to her. Her face was priceless…but I’ll never forget how she didn’t whine that she thought that she wasn’t getting it but was content with what she did get.

Dad, noooo!

That “god of thunder” bass looks like a Beatle bass.

No platinum credit card. Santa draws the line there

If I had complained I didn’t get the present I wanted at Christmas; then my father would have said fine. Then taken every single thing I did get to the Good Will drop box.

Your children are a reflection of you. Shallow, greedy children learned that behavior somewhere.

The only ones that got presents this year at my house were the dogs and cats.

The things Andy least wants the kids to have, Roger gets them anyway.

Roger’s only an idiot on that last one. Giving Paige a credit card is setting the world ablaze.

So it’s okay to namedrop Visa and Mastercard, but G.I. Joe is off limits?

Oh, they’re going to be a real happy household for the next several days: Peter blasting the roof off with the guitar, Jason tormenting Paige by launching toy rockets at her, and Paige running up bills galore (on that last one, gotta hope all he really got her was a gift card with a specific dollar figure). Then there’s Andy giving him the evil eye — agreeing ahead of time on what gifts the kids are and are not getting goes a long way towards marital bliss.

No Christmas without Porky Pig.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3Mgf2IIAg8

Parents should really really REALLY be on the same page together regarding their kids!

(Roger obviously isn’t even in the same book with Andy, much less the same page.)

How about being grateful for what you did get?

I found it amusing that Andy’s gifts were just about as disappointing as her cooking.

Way to love your kids, Andi.

Look closely at the underwear that Peter didn’t want for Xmas, it says “Jock of the Loom”. That’s a parody of both “Jockey” and “Fruit of the Loom”, both are underwear brands.