Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for October 22, 2022

Not me. I eat Cheetos.

I’ve seen a few anthropomorphic unicorns. But suddenly, I have disturbing images in my head of what would happen if unicorns tried to give some of their own traits to humans.

Nacho Cheese Doritos or Cool Ranch Doritos?

Dang it, Marigold. Now I want a game called “Unicorn Simulator”.

Oh my goodness, they exist! https://www.silvergames.com/en/unicorn-simulator

I’m betting the humans in “Human Simulator” speak Simlish.

I won’t eat anything that turns my fingers orange.

Potato Chips I would think would be more common, but Doritos are good!

Marigold’s just jealous because of,you know,fingers…

blah blah blah Dr. Love…

Oh, my, it’s a real game. https://store.steampowered.com/app/1175060/Human_Simulator/

Honestly, it kind of does.

Somebody tell Marigold about The Sims.

I’d say something, but I have 164 hours in PowerWash Simulator….

That sounds nothing like us. How preposterous. Though, I could go for some Doritos. Maybe I’ll eat them while watching a movie. Has anyone seen that new Halloween film? Supposedly, it’s pretty bad. Not really surprising; the series has had a long history of bad sequels. Did you know that Michael Meyers was originally going to be called “The Shape”? I think that’s true. And the story behind the 6th movie is pretty ridiculous. Still, gotta give the series credit for helping kick-start the slasher genre. And I think it at least had more direction than the Friday the 13th movies. Oh, you ever seen “Jason Takes Manhattan”? Yeah, right! They didn’t even have the budget to shoot more than like, 2 scenes in New York! And don’t get me started on the remakes from the 2000s! Hold on, let me get those Doritos, brb.

Careful, Pheebs — Marigold might still be slippery from all that melted butter.

agh I don’t like Doritos

I’m surprised that Phoebe doesn’t slip off Marigold’s back after all that butter, yesterday.

How much for the placement ad?