Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for November 03, 2022

Pop goes the world

It’s a snap.

They get their Snap, Crackle, and Pop when they get out of bed in the morning…

Was that a creeky old age noise or the seam of my pants?

Yes. Yes I do.

Don’t eat so many beans if you don’t want to fart.

I had those sounds all my life; I wouldn’t have been picked for a stealth patrol mission.

I’m at the ‘I don’t sit on the floor without a solid plan to get back on my feet’ age.

Well, Bud, you can expect those ‘solos’ to become an ‘etude’ and then a ‘concerto’ and finally a ‘symphony’ with the docs conducting the music.

Or “ow!” Or worse, “OW! OW! OW!”

Or reaching for the soap in the shower didn’t count as extreme calisthenics?

This one got a rare chuckle out of me, I feel his pain.

Was that my back, or my shoulder?

I used to be able to bend down and touch my feet with my hands, but that’s gone. And no, I’m not overweight, just not as flexible any more.

Is that your father’s noise? (Look up Gabe Kaplan, Welcome Back, Kotter)

I sound like the Whirly Pop popcorn maker.