The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for March 05, 2023

Gladys specializes in making short stories long.

He’ll pay dearly for that one.

At least Gladys doesn’t give you directions or comment on how you drive.

Just out of curiosity, aside from trucks and pick-ups, do any cars in the 2020’s still have bench seats?

All that driving and no “Are we there yet?-”

When people say “too make a long story short” I usually say, Oh good you’ve lost interest too? That usually makes it even shorter.

Gladys has a really bad case of the blah-blahs.

After 53 years of marriage to my sweet wife, I could add some pithy comments here; but nope, that’s not me. I’m not going to touch this topic. I’m not one of those guys who prattles on and on, ad infinitum, lacking the ability to extract the salient points of an event. In fact, I believe that experience has shown that … What were we talking about?

I use to tell my wife to hit pause – now she is bedridden at home under hospice care from complications from stroke (Christmas) and Alzheimer’s. I never interrupt her nor correct her.

at least she didn’t start over from the BLAHginning

Why didn’t Brutus just call Time Out while they pull into one of those Rest Stops. Gladys could’ve just kept on blahing if she wanted to while the boys relieved themselves. It sounds to me like she was quite wound up and wouldn’t mind boring all the strangers, too.

The gradual change in Brutus’s expression is priceless. Wisely he adds not a word to the discourse that would prolong the agony. Father and son need a signal: 10 blahs and give me the restroom message.

You and your big mouth, Brutus! You’re in trouble now!

your gonna get slugged for that when they do eventually stop.

Is it just me or does the Thornapple coat of arms say it all ? The standard and the emblem of all us Born Losers.

Gladys has a captive audience.

She makes a short story long. Hopefully she can hold it. That would be a first though. However, she does have to use a restroom…..

Brutus just gave her an update!

She needed to stop at the rest stop too, she has diarrhea of the mouth.

Brutus has not yet learned the fine art of changing the subject, unless this is something he has tried to do without luck. Learn self-hypnosis and just go to your happy place. There probably isn’t a test at the end of the speech.

Neither Gladys nor Brutus have apparently ever heard Will Rogers’s saying “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”. We can only hope Wilberforce learns from their mistakes.

She has the same disease as I – “HELP!! I’ve started talking and I can’t shut up!!”

I sometimes say “Does this train of thought have a caboose?”

Always liked the quick ending “to make a long story short….” ""TOO late!"

To make a short story long is an incontinence.

Maybe she’s just making up for time lost when Brutus is at work all day, and then comes home and watches TV. This is her only chance.

Another missed opportunity…

29 blahs, that’s a prime story…

With 29 blahs, she’s just priming the story’s pump…

The real question is: “Can Wilberforce hold it for 5 more miles”? …

But does the next rest area have a rest room, is another pertinent question…

They should come with a remote (with a MUTE button) and ????. Just a mute would do to ensure safer driving. But then we wouldn’t know to watch out for obstacles like a cow or horse (in a paddock). (Mrs. Bucket in ‘Keeping Up Appearances’).

my wife can transform a short story into a trilogy…

I’m with Brutus on this one, but I look at it a little differently. That opportunity actually passed about 20 blahs ago.

The rest stop my need to function as a drop-off.

If he wants a rest why doesn’t he just go to sleep.If he wants to use the toilet why doesn’t he say so