Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for March 23, 2023

A 220 cholesterol level isn’t too bad – especially after eating that funnel cake.

With everything there is a Goldilox Zone — knowing too little is dangerous, knowing too much is dangerous.

I have enough of a tuft in front on top that anyone under six feet tall thinks I have hair, at least until I turn around.

Is the Omniscient Alien mean or just uncaring? She should know that Brewster doesn’t want to hear all of these things.

Total cholesterol: 85. My doctor hates me.

How dare you comment about my wig!

Uh…. that’s… TMI

I find it hard to accept that with Brewster’s physique he’d have a 220 cholesterol number. That’s high even for me at age 73 and weight 306.

What I want to know, is, why does anyone care about the Kardashians?

Your prize is existential dread.

Oooh I don’t think omniscient alien should see Pam…

Heinlein’s 1939 LIFELINE comes to mind. Those who knew when they would die didn’t buy life insurance untill just before needed. So they killed the inventor — as he knew they would.

No fair with the cholesterol after eating fair food.

Don’t ask questions when you don’t want the answer.

Omniscient aliens are infected with mutated cordyceps??

There used to be a “thing” at carnivals where a guy who was loitering around the fairway would bet you a quarter that he could guess your weight. He would have to pat you down a little to make sure your clothing wasn’t making you look heavier, of course.

He would guess wrong and sadly pay you the quarter.

Sometime later you find that your wallet was missing.

When will Brewster go bald? He’s about to pull his hair out now.

First, can’t she see her way to a better job than working in a carnival booth?

Second, why is she referring to herself as an alien?