Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for April 05, 2023

“We’ve got a medic… OK, he’s not really a medical professional, he’s just the guy who sells peanuts and popcorn in the bleachers. But he has a really neat official-looking badge, so that should count for something!”

Wouldn’t they just throw his Tobutt out of the way!?!

“Remember boys, lose with grace.”

Well that escalated quickly.

Called it.

P1 “ToBe, get off me, man. You’re messing up my escape plan.”

Meanwhile, with the break in the action, Cami calls in her post-game pizza order.

P2 “Sorry Rod, but if I’m going to be trapped in this flea bitten strip for the next fifty or sixty years, you’re going to be stuck here with me.

P3 “ToBe! Let go of your rod! There’s a gym full of people here. Have you no shame?”

The game has stopped. Pi—-no sweating. P2—-same. P3—- pouring sweat.Gotta love RW’s illustrating; meshes perfectly with HB’s illustrating .

Geez…this is gonna delay baseball season even more, isn’t it? (Not that I’m looking forward to baseball in the strip. Knowing this author, he’ll probably have the players using cricket bats…)

Jeez. Got a kitchen sink handy? Could throw that in here, too.

P2- Is Toby shedding a tear? Why am I hearing Minnie Riperton’s “Lovin’’ You” in my head?

Why is Tobias doing compressions on the right side of the chest? Isn’t centered over the sternum is the standard for heart compressions?

There is absolutely no way – NONE – that a student would be allowed to perform CPR on another student at a high school sporting event. Both coaches, probably the referees, and much of the support staff of teachers and administrators at the game would all be trained in CPR. In addition, most HS sporting events these days – especially high profile ones – have athletic trainers from both teams present, and often there are EMTs and ambulances on site.

This is absurd. There’s just no way Gil would be standing back and watching the kid do this. He’d probably be the one who would have started treatment.

The “medic” looks like a cop — not again!

Taking this breather to wish our Jewish colleagues in snark, Chag kasher v’sameach!

P2: A shout out to Officer “Bull” Shannon from Night Court for his special guest appearance.

Vito from Goshen reminds you there is still time to place a large bet on He Makes It? / Brain Damage? as part of a Fist Pump and Sign Man parlay.

Somebody must have watched a replay of the Bills-Bengals game.

Dr. McCoy already called it yesterday. By this time, Steve Wilkos isn’t going to be able to do anything than receive “STEVE! STEVE! STEVE!” chants.

C’mon kids! This is Easter Season! I called it, yesterday: Creed takes an 8 count.

Ah, the Damar Hamlin episode. How original.

Uh oh, Dadjo, you were a lock to win your bet, but Vito sent out a “hit” man to interrupt the game. The game will now be suspended and Vito will keep all the wagers. Bet on it! (Just don’t bet on it with Vito.)

All schools have a defibulator. Yeah the medic would stand back while a student performs CPR. Don’t use the defib. Need to save energy

Cami ordering a pizza.

Maybe Rod just forgot to breath.

As someone who may or may not have died on the court, it’s a shame that Rod isn’t wearing a long-sleeved basketball jersey.

Vaping

P1.5- “Well Tobi, maybe he’ll start breathing again if you get the f**k off his chest.”

He’s whispering something! What did he say, Max? “Get your knee off my chest”. – Get Smart

OK guys, I haven’t done a wild a$$ prediction in a very long time so here goes. Rod assumes room temperature and, in doing the required autopsy, they discover he was a two pack a day vaper. To Be’s illicit vape sales ring (and his sudden revenue source) comes to an end causing Gil and Mimi to take the little shaver in and mentor him with some of their good ol’ Thorp Family Values (do the names Kerri and Jami ring a bell?) just like they did with his mother, before she took off to become a Heavy Meta groupie. Book it, but don’t spend the rent money.

P3- Good thing ToBe is wearing his waterproof masquera.

Here it is, almost 4PM, and not one person mentioned: “Will You Still Know Me in Heaven?”

Oh, by the way: Blatant foul! Player is ejected, Milford shooting two (or 3 to make 2 if in bonus) and a T. Whereupon, (don’t you love those old words?) Luke takes another T, gets ejected, Milford is awarded the ball, sinks a three for a seven or eight point lead with less than a minute to play, steals the ball and stalls their way to Luke’s 1st Stroke. We’ll find out what happened to Rod next Football season when he’s spotted in a scrum.

P-3: Sweat & Tears before the Blood.

P4: Ref: “I know the player is dead, but he has to shoot one-and-one before he’s brought the the morgue.

Who the heck is this guy in P2 taking his good sweet time getting to the kid who’s not breathing? Where is Captain Picard (Rick Scott)? Always made my Mopped Up Thorp job easier when I could just throw in some Star Trek references when he appeared. And speaking of appearing, you should be making an appearance at the Mopped Up Thorp website about now.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

Groucho taking his pulse: “Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”

Today’s comment section must have set a record for the most song references ever.