The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for April 03, 2023

Doctor Fun and mr. Hide (the chart)

Yes, Doc, that wasn’t much humor.

So compared to your last visit, was this joke better…, or worse?

When Thorny finishes, he’ll feel so dilated.

Wait till the Doc gives Brutus the old Glaucoma test… It’s like looking at a Super Nova flash of light. I always dread it.

I do not like that doctor.

guess it’s April Fool’s all week

Don’t forget your complimentary white cane on your way out.

At least it’s not dentist humor" “This will pinch a little…..”

A very little humor.

unless it’s see through and the guy ain’t aware of it. :J

The chart has a lot of really strange words on it

How would you like a patient punch in the nose?

A, E, I, O, AND U. You want me to read the tiny little 4th line Doc? G O T U. Backfire that doc’s joke.

Very little humor.

My optometrist asked me to read the 3rd line when he was standing in front of me: his humour of the day

Good one Doc, and I shall pay you with Monopoly money.

Good one Doc. Now my turn, how many fingers am I holding up?

Well Doctor, I should have told you that I am the Federal Inspector for Optometrist’s licenses. And since you can’t even see that there is no eye chart on the wall I am afraid I can’t renew your Optometrist license!

— a little patient’s humor.

April Fools was a couple of days ago.

You want a little humor? OK. The optician’s helper got caught up in the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.

Not funny. I have an eye exam today (after I had cataract surgery in November), and I dread the cost of glasses.

I joined the Optimist Club last month and I can see hope at the end of the tunnel.

This must be a company optician: he doesn’t dress right and uses lame jokes.

Brutus did not appreciate the humor!!

My vision used to be so poor. I would go to the ophthalmologist, they would ask me to read the top line. I would say, “What line?” Then they would go up higher, maybe even to the big E, and I would say, “What E?” Then I would tell them I couldn’t even see the light. I was legally blind without correction, but was totally correctible with contact lenses. I had a scare of almost losing my lenses on a vacation with my child who was not old enough to drive, so I had Lasik done. I learned later that Lasik can cause cataracts, so I eventually had that surgery too. I can now read without correction and drive without correction. It is like a miracle to me. Most people didn’t even know I had vision issues since I got contact lenses when I was 15. A friend of mine is legally blind, I understand her situation better than most, and she appreciates it. When we walk, I will always be on her right side. If she isn’t sure, I tell her to just stand there, I will pop up on her right. I did volunteer work at a facility that trains dogs for the blind, and I learned a few more tricks. I wish she would get a dog, but she doesn’t want to.

Funny guy. Ask him if the car you hit in the parking lot with the license plate EYE DR was his. April fools, a couple of days late……

Eye see says Brutus…

My mother could read a street sign down the block, but couldn’t read the newspaper in her lap.

That should relieve his anxiety.

40 years ago, my dad saw an optometrist named Steven I. Ball…and he had fuzzy pictures on his desk just for the fun of it.

It’s that bright spot on the wall. Really really out of focus.

Fred Flintstone: Hey, who took the chart away?

i don’t see the joke…

☺

How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, or two?

One or two?

Speaking of medical humor…Does anyone remember the time Rodney Dangerfield was on Johnny Carson and he was riffing on the couch about his Doctor, the infamous Vinnie Boombotz. He said my doctor used to be a photographer and when I see him he always says, “bend over and say cheese.” Johnny and Ed were convulsing in laughter. That was the same show where he said his proctologist was a [his word for little person, not used now] who ran through his legs throwing punches. YouTube videos of Dangerfield will keep me laughing a long time.

Smallest line that he can read. “Copyright 2013”.

Very little.

Hm, I just can’t see the humor.

If there had been an eye chart, most likely there would have been an E up there somewhere.