That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 31, 2023

When he was home, the colonel used his helmet for dusting.

Wow, I didn’t know they made armor that large.

Nothing I might write about this painting, Portrait of an Officer, is funnier than viewing the whole series of twenty-five paintings it comes from. Each portrait is of a different officer with different uniforms, armor and helmets, but each one is in exactly the same pose against a dark background. And all of their helmets are decorated with slightly different extravagant configurations of plumes, usually orange-colored. This was in honor of their commander, Prince Maurits of Orange.

I suppose I’ll try now to come up with some limericks. Hmmm… what rhymes with “orange”?

The poser of this painting regretted not going to the bathroom before getting in gear for the portrait.

That’s not armor, that’s his corset.

I know he is too fat to be a Ninja, and you know he is too fat to be a Ninja, by try telling that to the boss!

I hear air brushing is all the rage. I came prepared.

I imagine the fancy costumes of Dutch men and women of the 1600s Baroque Era can be compared to the costumes worn thousands of years hence in the era portrayed in Frank Herbert’s “Dune”? At a glance, the men in these paintings seem to wear a type of “still suit” similar to that worn by the desert-dwelling Fremen on Arakis. The fashions of the Empire royal court, especially the women, also seem similar in their extreme ostentation.

Or have I overdosed on “spice”? (I do have blue eyes.)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wY-x2sFAN28

https://www.pubhist.com/person/27/jan-anthonisz-van-ravesteyn

((“I’m fat, I feel fat. Why did I let them talk me into this?”))

Does this helmet make for head look big?

I’m afraid my laxative is about to kick in

Portrait of another customer of Trump’s wig maker.

The Colonel was pleased he found a Big & Tall Men’s Armorer in town.

Ivan wanted to be a sumo wrestler but he could never get the sash right.

Ivan was into leather, but regrettably after awhile he was cooking inside.

He realized too late that the flamingo plumes on his helmet would clue in his wife that his “business trip” to Florida was anything but.

Igor reveals that he is not, in fact, a redhead.

Portrait of an Officer: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Portrait_of_an_Officer_by_Jan_van_Ravesteyn_Mauritshuis_143.jpg 

(perhaps best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3106 (March 31, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here, the May 27, 2012, strip being the prior.

Nice hat.

Wearing those plumes, Henrik is no longer Mister 5 by 5.

Steve, take a break, go on vacation, regroup, then come back shining as you have done way back when, I look forward to it thanks…

Am I the only one whose first thought was … ‘Curly’??

eric found the slimming armor that he dreamed about, but he was still fat.

The Michelin man goes to the Dark Side.

Ivan: If you fail to paint me slim and handsome……you will be shot!

While attending grade school, I sometimes attended church alone. When I did, I would sit in an empty pew at the back. Quite often, a man wearing a suit and a glove on his left hand, similar to the one extended in the painting, arrived and sat at the other end of the pew. At my freshman algebra class in 1960, I finally found out who he was – the math teacher. I had often wondered why he wore the glove in church (didn’t take it off). Turned out it was a prosthetic he wore after losing the hand in the Korean War. When I saw this painting that was my first thought: Is that a prosthetic from 1612? Now prosthetics are made that can be connected to brain implants and can actually feel what they touch. Medicine sure has advanced during my lifetime.

The outfit looks like it is all leather. It is probably more for show than utility. Then again, by the 1600’s armor strong enough to stop a 25 mm musket ball would have been too heavy to move in.