Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for May 10, 2023

Serves you right for not warning Max’s grandfather not to go blabbing all over town about the sale. Ed was a witness to the whole affair, after all.

Also, please tell me the Grand Re-Opening Night film isn’t going to be Mr. Jarre’s Oscar-winning drama “Lisa’s Story: The Movie”!

“Haven’t we had this talk before?”“I don’t know. I get jumpy when I think about other times.”

Me, I’m going watch my new DVD “Metropolis”, Directed by Fritz Lang. It looks to be a whole lot better than what’s made today.

Ah, yes… small towns…… where everyone is up in everyone else’s business..

Did he ask their permission before he started recording?

And shouldn’t Mason be focusing on rebuilding his house that burned to the ground in that big fire a while back?

A “newspaper” that’s small t’ own?

And the place is gonna be renamed “Maison Jarre”.

Reporters are supposed to inform you that what you say is being recorded.

“I don’t know how it got out.” It’s almost as if Mxx doesn’t want people to know the theater’s re-opening.

Which makes sense in a Batiukian way: if people know the Valentine’s re-opened, then they might come and spend money, and the place won’t close shortly and give people a reason to be miserable. Happiness and success are not permitted (except, of course, for Les Moore) in the FunKrankyVerse.

Now’s the time to quit talking to him and run. Let him have the place, you’re better off.

Notice he said “movie actor” and not “movie star?”

Huh, weird. It’s not like real estate transactions are a matter of public record. /s

You think just maybe when a major landmark in a town gets sold that people will want to know who bought it?

I visited my home town for Thanksgiving last year. On my way through town, I stopped as a gas station and talked to one (1) person. An hour or so later my brother came to our parents house to see me. I pointed out I was a day early — how did he know I was there? He told me three people in town had already mentioned to him that I was home.

Another reason to be glad that you live in a big city, if you do.

Rumors spread fast in a small town & so someone famous coming to town would spread like wildfire!