Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for September 06, 2023

that’s an adrenaline pumper

Read this on Not Always Right:

Back when I first started in my industry, a friend of mine from uni landed a job at my company, too. The place was four levels with an atrium in the middle. I was on the third floor, and [Friend] was on the first floor, but I could see him from my desk. He didn’t know this yet, and he didn’t know where I was seated.

I let him get settled in for the morning, and then I anonymously messaged him through our internal messaging system.

Me: “[Friend], meet me at my office immediately.”

I watched as he looked around the office, slightly panicked.

Friend: “Sorry, who is this? And can I ask where your office is?”

Me: “Now, [Friend], I don’t have time for this.”

He started to look really panicked. Then, he got up and walked into the atrium and stood turning round in circles, looking at the offices. I felt bad about it then and waved down to him.

Me: “Now, [Friend]!”

Being the good-hearted guy he was, he laughed and mouthed, “C**t,” and I went back to work giggling.

A few days later, I started hearing a very occasional and very high-pitched “eeee”-like beep in the office I shared with two others. It was VERY subtle — almost out of our hearing spectrum, to the point where I wasn’t sure if I was hearing it.

But once I did accept that I really was hearing it, it became more and more noticeable with each beep, and more and more irritating. The timing was unpredictable — sometimes ten minutes between beeps, thirty minutes between, two minutes, an hour, etc. — so I let it go for quite a while before I started to accept that I might be going mad and asked the others if they heard it. They both looked almost relieved and said they did, and it was driving them mad, too.

So, we started looking around the office, pulling shelves apart, emptying drawers, and pulling pictures down. I even sat outside the office for a few hours to make sure it wasn’t coming from outside. (It wasn’t.)

Contd

The one time I didn’t assume, I was!

Me too. I figure I’m either in trouble or fired.

Like being called to the principal’s office.

I’d hate to be Aunty’s boss.

They never call you in to tell you are doing a great job!!!!!

Depending on what level in the company you are at, there will also be an HR person or a lawyer sitting there.

In one company I was in, you knew that you were being canned when your card didn’t open the front door.

Or you can fire people the classy way. Put it on Twitter (now X).

I’m still wondering how you ever got hired.

She works for a pretty progressive company. They gave her a “Pear” computer. It’s a peach.

Last company boss would pop in during our break. He’d sit and chat buy us an other coffee. Start talking about production problems or layout changes. Hand out a project or two.

Now that’s positive thinking.

OH NO! When it gets like that, I want to be the one to do the walking!

When I got called to the boss’s office, I got annoyed because it usually meant I was being asked yet again to fix someone else’s work.

just a little bit paranoid

At least Aunty wears depends. No surprise leaks.